My god... You aren't the first person I've met with problems like these. Feel what you feel, death isn't the answer but if you feel like that, then I can't stop you. I don't care if you're weird, have an accent, (I think there cool no matter what) I think what matters the most, is personality, If you are sweet, caring, loving, etc... I think that you matter, and this world NEEDS good people like you. If you go to heaven (I refuse to believe in hell) I hope you are as happy as can be, because you deserve that, and if you aren't being treated right for some stupid reason then you have the right to feel what you feel, some of my books explain why I am hated as well. I hope you can be happy soon, death or not. <3