Fate

I messed up a great couple's relationship, and yet they say I am not to blame? I do not understand. How can I not be to blame, at least in part for their transgression? I am at fault, I am foolish. I wish to mend these broken bridges, but it can not be done. Forgive me or forgive me not, the guilt is still there.

Sorry about all the cursing guys

I fuck up a lot. I most certainly am not the girl most think I am. I can be selfish, I am rather stupid, and often times I break down when its time to be strong and so I make it look like I'm the victim when often times I could be the one who fucked up or everyone involved is a victim. I can apologize all I want but I know that doesn't make it right. At those times its when I need to prove myself, but I know that I can't when if I did it would pose a lot of questions.

That moment when you realize something about yourself that should've been so obvious all along but was so pure that I almost didn't notice it. How often is it that a person can discover the most beautiful thing about them is the thing that no one else ever seems to realize, and it's the most pure part of you? Life is beautiful in many ways. It's strange, that through all the heartache and grief that seems to swallow each of us whole, that we can climb back up and discover more.

I am only human. I can only do so much. No matter how often I wish or dream or think I can do something beyond my capabilities be someone i'm not, in the end, I am exactly who I am. I try being the perfect person, but that really only ever makes me more messed up. I try being who everyone wants me to be, and I only end up hurting more. I try being who I am and allowing people to see it, and people I care about make me feel terrible about it, and the one person who doesn't is making e go against everything I know and think is right. I can't be everyone's perfect little day dream of a person, I can't fix everything for everyone and I can't be everywhere at once. I'm sorry, but I think I need some time to figure things out, see who is really there for me and who my real friends are. It may seem really dramatic, but those of you who know me, i've never been a quiet person and with as much stuff thats been going on in all of my "lives" and my own actual life.

When people delete all of their work because they think they suck and don't want people to read what they post is quite disappointing. Everyone has a piece of genius, and writers always have more genius than you could imagine, and amazingly enough it gets poured into the stories they write and thus people should read it. I wish you all didn't doubt yourselves as much as you do, and perhaps you will all grow to understand that everyone is fantastic to some extent, no matter how minuscule or eye-opening it is.