Eternal_bulletin

Most often than not, I wish for me to be a better, good person. More than the outside mask for strangers that I wear. It even makes me scared sometimes that the masked goodness I have would be uprooted completely. Maybe it's already in process and I'm not aware. Some days I feel so hollow like I'm living in a shell of someone I was supposed to grow into. The future makes me scared because my mind behaves in such strange ways at moments. What if I can't even meet a morsel of what my family wanted from me, what the younger me wanted for me? I don't really know what to do. How long can I even go on like this with a blackhole inside my heart that's sucking all these things I should be feeling. 

This birthday is going so good so far, I just hope it'll stay that way TT

It's finally the Exam night. Whew, I'm so worried about physics, especially since there's negative marking shjakslslj
          
          I hope I'll get at least near or above 450 TT

Had an almost 3.5 hours of back to back physics without a proper lunch or breakfast, I am not okay TT
          
          I'm so gonna sleep it off rn but I have to get the revisions done by today sjskkssk

Maybe it'll all end with me. 

So close, yet so far away. Why even appear and give hope when it was never going to be there.

It hurts so much to see things slipping farther and farther away when I had a rare chance at getting them. I'm so tired of having to lose it all over and over again. 

Another year, another city. It feels like it was just yesterday that I moved here. Coincidentally, I ate for the last time at the same restaurant I ate on my first day here. 

Swim's instrumental is just, utterly magical to say the least. I don't know how to describe it, but it gives a feeling of that unmistakable yearning. Like I would do anything to have my love be with me, be it going against the time or being a ghost that guards them. I could swim the oceans for them.
          
          Gosh, I just love it so much. Kinda also makes me feel a little overwhelmed in the good way. BTS has done it again TT. 

So... Whenever I go to sleep, my brain would replay any part of any of the songs from arirang. Last night it was the do-do-do part of 2.0, before that it was Kerosene, dopamine chemical induced (wow, even my keyboard knows it atp). Is that happening with everyone?! TT