I GOT THAT DOG IN ME (stewie)

Im making a new acc exclusively to rp on because I need my guts pulled from my body and thrown on the floor

every time i log into this account i have this one mutual and i read their announcements and im like "That is certainly a thing to say."

fun fact! alchohol acts as both a depressant AND a stimulant. when you hav bipolar it's really fun to guess how it's acting

i just dont understand why no one wants to make themselves even remotely uncomfortable for me when I spend every waking moment willing to die for them

yk I had to learn how to handle everyone else's issues but no one has to learn how to deal with something inconvenient of mine no thats too much and I need to be considerate of what makes other people uncomforatble and I'm respobsible for my actions when I'm upset but when everyone else is upset they get to treat me like shit and I'm awful for not being considerate of their feelings oh my god why am i responsible for literally fucking everyone

I literally can't sleep if ai know other people are awake and might need me when I'm awake and i've told people that but god forbid i need anything ever at reasonable times of the day

I am very drunk right now so I'm kinda just rantingto the void bc no one knows me here
          
          Why the fuck do I have to be the one to mak evryone else feel okay and safe and I have tom ake myself uncomfortable for everyone else to feel secure and validated in their disabilites or what have you but the SECOND I do anything characteristic of the disabiltiy I have or I need anything all of a sudden I'm too much to handle? I have to make sure I'm accomodating everyone else's needs, I have to make sure I'm not asking for too much time or energy, I have to make sure I'm communicating when I need something because no one can read my mind, but the SECOND I ask people to do something like tell me when they're gonna be gone for several hours despite the fact that I'v mentioned several times that it is a genuine trigger for me and I just need a simple "hey im gonna be busy and might not be responding for the next few hours" Suddenly I'm the bad guy and aksing for too much oh my god FUCK you for that what the fuck do you mean "I'm clearly drink and you dont know how to deal with it" bitch you dont know how to deal with me sober fuvk off

BUT WITH EVERYBODY WATCHING US OUR EVERY MOVE WE DO HAVE REPUTATIONSSSSSSSSSS WE KEEP IT SECRETTTTTT WONT LET THEM HAVE ITTTTTT IF YOU WOULD LET ME GIVE U PINKIE PROMISE KISSES THEN I WOULDNT HAVE TO SCREAM UR NAME ATOP OF EVERY ROOF IN THE CITY OF MY EHARTTTTT

i would love to get back into oc/cannon rp stuff but that would require i find a person that both loves my ocs as much as I do, is chill with  me loving their ocs to death, and is also chill if i randomly decide im an awful writer and take multple days to respond but we dont have that so i am exclusively doing smut shit on ai stuff

chat I never posted my soul eater OC's and now their names are lost to the void their placeholder names are literally dingus and bingus what am I supposed to do with this