"Can't spell 'funeral' without fun."
"Don't hate yourself. I'll do it for you."
"Just because opinions exist doesn't mean they should."
"Gender is like utensils. You are either born a fork or spoon or on the rare occasion a spork."

P1: "Why do you have a hose?"
P2: "To wash away the BS that comes out of your mouth."

P1: "Hey how straight are you?"
P2: "I'm as straight as P3's back."
P1 "But they have scoliosis."
P2: "Exactly."