zero

im leaving wattpad. cya

i don’t think anyone is gonna read this, because no one really ever does.
          i am unloved.
          i am uncared for.
          the world would be much better if i wasn’t such a burden to all of you.
          if i stopped complaining and being so pathetic.
          is it too much to ask to be loved just like everyone else you talk to/love? 
          im not happy here.
          i am going to do it.

so uh.
          yeah.
          im gonna leave.
          forever.
          soon, maybe November, maybe anywhere in between that and February. 
          You won’t know.
          so.
          i may post here occasionally. 
          but i wont be here forever. definitely not long enough.
          okay.
          bye.

god i hate myself. 
          i hate everything about myself.
          i hate the way i look. i hate the way i think. i hate the way i smile. i hate the way i act. i hate the way i talk. i hate the way i draw. i hate the way i sing. i hate the way i write. i hate the way i can’t spare even a bit of empathy. i hate that i wish people death. i hate that i wish myself death. i hate that i want the world to end. i hate it. i hate everything about everyone. i hate how i love you. i hate how i think. i hate how i overthink. i hate how i hate everything. 
          i hate myself.
          i hate you.
          why don’t you just block me and never talk to me again? im a horrible,HORRIBLE person either way. 
          this is not for attention. i just want people to know that i dont care. i wish TO EVERY GOD that i did, but i cant.
          which also means that i dont care about myself.
          

zero is gone
          and HE’S fronting.
          driving every single one of us insane
          —ilumina

three is so hot
          WHO SAID THAT
          WASNT ME 

why do people think it’s okay to just hit me?? like it’s not funny. i genuinely almost started crying because i DONT WANY ANYONE HURTING ME UNLESS ITS MYSELF.
          i hate people.
          everyone sucks.
          (minus some exceptions)

IM GONNA DIE
          IM GONNA DIE
          OH MY GOD I CANT I CANY SEE
          I CANT I CANT SEE ANYTHING
          IM DEAD
          IM DEAD
          HELP ME PLEASE HELP I CANG I CANY LIVE WHERE IS IT PLEADE HELP ME I CANT I CANT SEE IM GONNA DIE IM GONNA

かまってかまって私にかまって
          
          かまってかまって私にかまって
          
          かまってかまって私にかまって
          
          かまってかまって私にかまって
          . . .

TWO TIME IS A HOOKER /ref