FORTUNATE_FUNDY

must i yet again pine for love's embrace?
          i desire nothing more but to be held.
          
          fleeting romances, but never one that seems to last.
          
          my heart is sore, no, heavy. no, it aches. no, it cries. no, it bleeds.
          how much longer must i endure?

when i was younger i felt the need to be older, now im older i pretend to be younger.
          seventeen years on earth and i thought i would only be alive for thirteen.

there's fog in my mind.
          and it's mine, mine, mine, mine, mine.
          i try to sleep but i'm never calm
          enough to
          drift away with my mind
          on the fog.
          in this misty hour,
          i only dream.
          of what it could be
          to get mine, mine, mine, mine, mine
          mind off this fog.

is the world getting more distant, or am i the distant one?
          i have so many worries inside my head.
          
          will i ever be able to hold someone in my arms?
          what will i do for my future?
          what are my beliefs?
          will i get hurt again?
          will my name be known, or will i die in silence?

a god may sing to the world to awake,
          yet it may not.
          
          "hyacinthus?"
          "..."
          
          the unusual sound of silence.
          hyacinthus was never silent, was he? he filled the air with his joy.
          
          "hyacinthus?"
          the name was whispered.

saw someone saying "mizitill would be so cute and in a relationship in another situation"
          what situation?
          
          a person can't just begin to love someone because it's different, and they are not in the same environment. in au's/different universes too.
          
          a person can't CHOOSE their sexuality. mizi is a lesbian and she won't love till romantically.
          
          "people are so sensitive, mizitill is not that bad."
          sorry for caring about representation being erased. i'm just a little bitch wo won't stop whining, aren't i?

i see beauty in things people don't.
          it infuriates me,
          but i guess i'll appreciate the beauty alone.
          

i feel as if once i was a kind soul.
          too kind for his own good,
          because the world has taken that kindness,
          and replaced it with this hole inside me.
          i am empty.
          
          i am exhausted.
          there is too much bitterness in my heart.
          i resent too much.
          
          i want to love but i can only hate.
          i want to love 
          i want
          i                               can only hate.

the morning rose, 
          and the darkness flew.
          but i stay in my shadow.
          i am nothing but the bitterness of a sour apple.

He held the golden apple close,
          Three goddesses waited,
          and all the world hung by his word.
          
          Power. Wisdom. Glory.
          They scattered like stars.
          but he was only mortal,
          and mortals crave the touch of love.
          
          “Aphrodite, sweet Aphrodite,”
          he whispered,
          and the wind carried it down the mountain.