he wrote me back (we've been using e-mail to chat) and was very good about it. (I wrote in the subject line 'this is hard so I'm doing it by memes', and just used a couple memes to explain it) Idk why I was so anxtious about it, I guess because the last time anyone in my family found out it was my aunt around halloween (she found my facebook where I don't hold back)and she barely talks to me so I still have no idea how she feels, she isn't homophobic I think, but she doesn't like it when someone isn't her religion -which I'm an atheist sooo- alternatively, my cousin (her niece who she practically raised) is okay with the nonreligious thing, but very homophobic. I just felt crushing anxiety and it was hard to breathe and swallow, I want to be open but I know I'll loose most of my closest family-and probably be kicked out by my parents or worse *shivers*) I wish it was different, its like i'm trying to shove down part of myself constantly and it makes me so sad and uncomfortable.