Faisal Hasan

Jesus. 
          My last post is quite honest. Full marks for that
          But need to tone down the emotions lol. 
          Anyways, I am still here.
          Still wishing for that phone to ring, more for that text to come. 
          I know you are madly angry. My face must  resemble a punching bag of the past for you, but it is understandable. 
          Hope you didn't get a new one. (but who am I kidding, it's better you tell him how bad I was than to text me you are now taken or whatever)
          
          I guess this is the wrong timeline.
          It diverted somewhere between 22-24th December 2015. 
          And life has been strange since then. 
          
          I don't know why I feel so self righteous ( not sure if I am really?) but I love you and I so want you back. 
          
          Worst case scenario for me - you hate me, I am stranger now, you are in some other country doing something you like( Its good news for me too), and you are committed.
          
          Best case scenario - I wait here for your response , also working towards my personal goals in the meanwhile.
          
          Take care dear ( you preferred baby in better times, but what can I do now lol) 

          
          Yes, I have dreams and I wont sit outside my house watching my watch. I am not stagnant. But I will always be here. 
          
          My parents messed up. And more importantly I destroyed the thing more. Unintentionally shot myself in the head. 
          But
          I love you. 
          And I will do anything to get you back and make things right.
          
          You hate me. And I am sorry.
          Maybe you will leave for US soon.
          And then you won't be the same person ever.
          Maybe you'll be the same. I don't know.
          
          It is difficult living like this. When I am talking with my friends and your face comes flashing in my head and I try to muffle it within myself.
          When I try to eat, and I hear your smiling voice and your angry tantrums, and I am unable to move the spoon in my hand.
          When I try to sleep, and I remember our nightly chats and phone calls while hiding, and I cannot sleep.
          
          Everyday I check my whatsapp,my facebook. Whatever platform I am on. 
          But never the voice I want to hear, never the face I want to see.
          
          
          I don't even know if you are committed or not. Lots of great boys out there. What are the odds that you have already told him how possessive I am (like you once said in our chats). 
          
          Please come back. 
          My Time is running out and this window is closing fast. 
          
          Please forgive me for my stupid actions that have caused problems for you. 
          In a world I want,  I wish you were with me again. And we can go back to the dream we dreamt. 
          
          I love you
          I am still here
          I am tearing up again.
          I have so much to tell you.  

H B