Faithh896

Drove through four states in two days, going to the zoo in 45 minutes. I’m hoping for hyenas, nephew wants to see tigers.

the “sadly” after “i’m a girl” in your bio should’ve been a warning sign ngl

You guys ever just think about how Sid the sloth predicted global warming

My dad calls shoes clodhoppers 

I just made a cake for Mother’s Day (lemon with buttercream icing) but now it’s just a floorcake :(

Whenever my dad cooks rice, no matter how long he cooks it, it always turns out crunchy and I’m sick of it. I WILL BE THE ONLY ONE IN MY HOUSEHOLD TO COOK RICE FROM NOW ON.

Human curiosity is stronger than safety. So with that, I’ll be on my way.
          
          I’ll be back.
          
          Maybe.

Hera trying for ten minutes not to smite a literal child who had no say in his existence and also just so happens to be the product of her husband (who is also her youngest brother who tricked her into this marriage that she didn’t even want in the first place) sexually assaulting mortal women who also wanted no part in this predicament when she, as the goddess of childbirth, could have just caused a miscarriage and saved herself, the poor woman, her Rat Bastard Bitch ManTM of a husband all of that trouble (except for the trauma of being SEXUALLY ASSAULTED BY A LITERAL DEITY), as well as rescue a poor little innocent child from being TORTURED BY A JEALOUS PEACOCK(which is Hera’s symbolic animal) challenge:
          Level: impossible 

Perchance.

https://youtu.be/KOvMe_cH4z0
          
          Nothing will ever be as funny as this, I’ve watched this eight times in the past two days.