Can I please say something and you promise you will listen!
If you cut then every time you do it you are one drip of blood closer to death. You may think that nobody would shed a tear for your loss but that is completely faulse. Your weight is nothing, your fears mean nothing. Your ersonality is all that any one cares about. You wrote that You love helping others and that is a very good trait that we should all be gratefull we have. But you need to hel yourself before others. You are a talented writer and that in itself makes others happy.
Life is too short to be deppressed and to cut. you have to focus on the present and follow three simple rules.
Be happy,
Enjoy life,
And help yourself before others
