Whatever you're feeling right now is temporary, you will be okay soon, never make permanent decisions on temporary feelings. It may feel like this will never end but seriously it does, the pain does get easier and you end up surviving what you thought you wouldn't. Find strength within yourself to know that His mercy is greater than any amount of pain you are feeling, keep turning to Him even if you haven't turned to Him in a very long time. He will always welcome you back, do not think the door is closed on you, Allah's mercy and door is forever open as long as you are trying your best to walk through it. It may feel like it'll never get better but it will, I promise you it will because Allah does not burden a soul beyond it can bear. Remember that.
@Slave_of_Ar-Rahman!