So...who's having a bad day, I am. My mother just called me pitiful. Like I didnt know that already. Why did she, because I didnt understand that when she told me to save that money for the lights, that she wanted me to out it on the lights right then and there. She just said dont use that card, it will be for the lights. And that was all. So when she figured out I didnt she called me that. I dont know how she want me to be, a cry baby or heartless. Each side of me she dont like. I'm too sad, I'm a little too happy, why am I crying? Because I cant show my feelings right. It's all mix and I dont speak to people because of her. I fear so much that she will yell at me like she always do. Yell and tell me that it's no reason for me to get so upset about it. Or just wont understand. I'm scared of that so when she ask I bite my tongue but that makes it worse!! She fuss at me for trying to speak to her about it and cant say nothing. I dont want to live so bad, I want to die. Anyway I can die I would do it if I could just stop thinking about my family. How they would be without me. I want to say she loves me but I also want to say she hates me. I dont know what to do right now. I just need a little help. I feel like I'm losing my emotions and that's something I dont want to do I just need a little more help. I'm sorry for the rant. I just dont know what to do anymore.
