Icarus

New work!!! A james sirius potter x teddy lupin fanfic! 
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/325930817

do you ever just know , you shouldnt do something beacause its gonna bite u back in the ass later , but you do it anyway. but you have this dunb fucking thig called concious , so your just there , guilty , anxious having a panic attack , but you cant stop doing the thing and your just everyday telling yourself "tommorow, i will be better" but you dont follow through . 
          
          so now your just hating yourself even more because not only that you did the thing , you lied without any remorse about it . and you are a horrible fucking person and you dont deserve jack shit ?

so , i woke up all night and watched call me by your name . why did i want to emotionally torture myself and break myself in new ways , you ask ? well idk . im just here , drowning in my own tears and i have online class in 4 hours , im hungry and sad and horny . just simply cursing god

can someone tell how the fuck im getting followers ???  ...im very grateful for my new and all followers but damn i have one question why??? like i fucking hate what i write . do yall find it interesting ? i mean .. thanks i appreciat it but why ?

my mother found my post about being very very dead inside and suicidal and talked to me about it , crying and weeping her sollution was "throw ur depression aside " THROW UR DEPRESSION ASIDE . like yeah mother that how it works

so guess which fucker forgot he was lactose intolarant , so i was already dying from gas , and now i did the gen z move , i am driking warm milk , which will make me very very miserable later  bc i forgot i cant drink warm milk and i also forgot to inform my aunt about it , so im taking one for the team

my mother dearest  sent me away bc she needs to organize the apartment and imma little shit . now im in my uncles house , FUCKING EXICITED !he has a wacom , and canvases and i am surrounded by good paintings and studies , this is my haeven bitches , AND MY FUCKING BRAIN IS HAPPY AND DOESNT WANT TO DIE FOR ONCE  . guess which bitch boi is hydrated today ?

hey my very few readers ! i would very much appreciate it if you left comments , ( it gets a little lonely down here in hell yk ? ) write  anything u wish , trust me it helps , also leave  critisism , i need it , i know my writting is cringy and some are down right trash , but i saw that atleast 2 people read it , so i know people are out there , reading this trash , im rambling at this point but oh well , also check out diary of cornelius thorne , its the recent hot mess braain child , im just excited about this at the moment , probably will be a train wreck , but hey, it couldnt be any worse . i have that much self confidence . no one will read this , our brain made up all the people around us , we live in a stimulation . byeee

anyone who is reading this , i would very much like to inform that my homophobic uncle is wearing an achilles shirt and me , a patrochilles nerd is internally  rolling on the floor . also im having a mental breakdown bc my sketchbook cover which i worked 3  days on got dirty bc i used water color and im going to break my own fingers if i look at it again.

what do u call it when u want to die but also immortal ????