and for all of those who actually read these: I LIED. i'm really sorry but I LIED only because i wanted to give all of you faith, that i actually was going to start up updating. it's just i have all these ideas, but it's hard for me to write all of it. like i know what i want it's just hard for me to get it all out into words. and i hate writing the beginning of a story. this is my struggle, and i'm trying to work through it.