Finnsxangels

happy halloween!!

part two
          ANYWAY i get told i need to get some food and im like shit because the kitchen was really overstimulating. and my cousin goes “ill go with you” and i was like thank god. anyway the food wasnt radt bla bla bla and my cousins get out a game (theyre pretty young) and i sit down to play and my leg is bouncing like usual and y know what this ANGEL does, she puts her hand on my leg to calm me. ut didn’t do anything but i just felt understood. anyway some food comes in and one of my weird things is if i eat some food i need to keep doing it and i don’t realise 
          it. i mive the container to stop and go “i need to stop eating these” and she goes eat if you want. AGH anyway a fee hours later and me and my younger cousins  need to leave with my gran, and she gives me her numbe and a hug and tells me sheel see me tomorrow. AHH anyway when she left today she was crying and im usually not comfortable with hugs but i was with her. i really like her and im so so so sad she left, but she might move to ehere i live ahahah!!

rant about how much i love my cousin
          so my cousin lives quite a while away from me ( :(( ) so i havent seen her in a long time. anyway, she visited recently and heres what happened 
          me and my gran picked her up and she was full on sobbing (it was so sweet) and i gave her a sweet. anyway we introduced ourselves to each ither (i was very young ehen i met het) and basically we drover her back to the party at my other family members. when we got bacn to the house she started to talk to her brother (who was there with his partner) anyway i put my shoes in my normal place and went to the quietest room which had nice lights, and i looked after my little cousin with my other cousins partner. anyway about half an hour later, the other cousin walks in and starts taling pics with us (my other cousin also joined us) anyway somehow or another (i can’t remember how, it was late) we started talking. and i told her about my ADHDeven  fould out she too was neurodivergent. anyway we were just talking and i let slip how pretty i thought billie eilish was. she gets this smile on her face. anyway i start saying how i have a cardboard cutout of someone and she looks at me and says “oh i thought itd be billie eilish” and i realise what she means and i say “not my usual taste tbh” andshe tells me about her girlfriends in the past.

i love rollerskating so much ngl. but the pain after is not istg

i just learnt my cousins and one of my cousins  partner is visiting soon so im super exciteddd

i have never been more jealous in my life

oh and i like a straight girl

i fucking give up. what the hell does the universe want from me? i have a shit life and the MINUTE i get better i get ill. its not fair. im trying so hard but im losing everything because im never there and i cant control anything and i just want the tiniest bit of control but i cant because everything is so goddamn hard. so hard. like climbing the stairs. and the worst part is ut has no cure. HAHAHA THANKS UNIVERSE.
          
          sorry for the rant im just having a really really shit day

today is the day theyre going to the country. please just fuck of universe. im gonna have to deal with all the social media photos. i’ve decided im just going to not look at them

because of my fucking medical condition i cant go to another country with my school which i have been looking forward too for 3 years, because of a safe guarding issue. fuck you universe.