I was thinking the orher day, was i abused by my "foster parents" (idk should i call them that). I was put with another family for some time because of my mom's medical condition, the firs family was kind and caring, but they also seemed to have anger issues and i was even hit a couple of times. When the younger "temporary child" they had (around 3-5 years old) been throwing rocks or something at their car (which mattered too much to them imo.) we were both punished even when i was sitting on the opposite side of the yard. And when i say punished, i mean that she(temporary maternal figure) threw an amount of snow on us and left outside for a few minutes. Then she apologized for lashing out. Still i feel distrusting towards people, i'm hiding things about my life from my actual family, etc. I don't want to play victim, but the first temporary family did many things i personally wouldn't ever do tho children under the age of 11, and when they tried to do something to apolofize it felt like it was fake, plasticky, if you get what i mean. I get really bad nosebleeds sometimes and i had to go tho the ER one time because of one. The temporary parents sometimes completely ignored my nosebleeds that could have hospitalized me. I still have a hard time thinking about it. Being 9 to 10 years old and not seeing your only parent for two years was terrifying. They were good people, just incredibly bad parents. I feel like they just overstepped the borders of good parenting too often.
Thank you if you read this. It's better having these thoughts off my chest. Have a good night/day. I'll go shower now.