I've tried to help the people I love, and care about. I try to be everything for them, do everything right. Tried to be there and lift them up, when nobody would.
I try my hardest around everybody, and I'd never regret that. Never have.
But I think.. Sometimes I just wish somebody would be there for me, they way I've been there for them.
I might be able to think of a few people who will do this, such as one of my school friends, and a sweet girl I've met here on wattpad. You know who you are, Sumi.. ♥
The only fear I face, with pouring my feelings out to people, is how uncomfortable they might be, or how they might react. Or whether they can handle it.
All feels like, you're trying to indulge yourself and keep everybody's attention on you, like you're making them worry on purpose, creating unnecessary concern and fear upon them.
That, by telling them something they wouldn't want to hear, it seems.. Selfish of you.
Even though you're only trying to reach out for a last hope, desperate to be saved or helped, you feel, that because you've been there for others, the favour you return, is just, self-centred. Telling everybody how you've been crying so much, how you've done this or that over your own thoughts, your own mind, yourself. How you've failed to cope with so much, how your life is so much worse than anybody's, how you hate yourself.
When in reality.. For me at least, it's not. Like I can feel I'm overreacting, or exaggerating, as that's what everybody has painted the situation to be, and the worst part is.. I can't argue with them.
It's not that I've found it hard to cope, because of what people have said.
I've found it hard to cope because I'm doing this alone, and it's one of the hardest things I've faced.. My friends and my parents are really the only people I know are there for me, but to pour everything on them just feels too dramatic, or maybe inconsiderate. Like, by doing so, you're expected to make up for it, because it was foolish.
