Veronica

anything?

I have no idea what to say.
            
            I think you have heard everything already
            "its going to be fine"
            "ily"
            "believe in yourself"
            
            ...
            
            Hug?

I hallucinated death today. Four more days, I know, and I know it was just a hallucination, but I saw it. He was tall, and he wore a dark cloak, as if he was depicted in a cartoon.
            
            He held his hand out to me, and the fingers were thin and boney.
            
            I was sitting outside, trying to remain calm as I realized how little time I have, and suddenly he was there. His cloak swayed with the wind as he reached his arm out.
            
            I didn’t take it. I stood, and he was only a bit taller than me, but I didn’t take it. I just stared at him. Then, as if to rid myself of the hallucination, I could see a version of myself that I didn’t recognize taking his hand. She was the same height as me, and had the same hair color, but she was so much brighter. A smile remained on her face as she looked back at me.
            
            The two walked off into the yard, towards the woods that border our property, and I could hear them speaking.
            
            It was Veronica.
            
            “Am I real, now?” She asked.
            
            Death nodded.
            
            And I whispered that she always was.
            
            But she’s gone, I think.

Radon is terrible. We had a leak in our house when I was eight for just a bit too long. We all breathed it, but I am the one that is suffering for it.
            
            Radon is undetectable. Tasteless, odorless, colorless and weightless, it is invisible. And because of it I have a brain tumor, a cancer, and I am going to die.
            
            With me, not only do I go, so does someone that all my friends knew and loved. So does someone who people cared about. So does the one person my girlfriend could confide in.
            
            With me, Nadia no longer has a reason to leave the house. With me go countless unfinished works that could have been sold one day. With me go the dreams of a child, I am still a child. I am still young. I have a life ahead of me, but now, I only have thirteen days.
            
            I wonder if I was born to die young. I matured so quickly because of my hallucinations. Bottles of sleep medication changed weekly from age eight made me experience life fast, I behaved much older than I was. Live fast, die young, I suppose.
            
            I feel like sixteen is too young, though.
            
            I’m going to cry if I write more, but I think I need to.
            
            I have thirteen days to do the last things I might ever be able to do. Check off the bucket list. I need to get out, go outside, spend time with people I love. Come clean and let my online friends know who I am, but I can’t.
            
            It’s like I want to close myself off so people are less sad when I’m gone.
            
            I’m not going to, though. I’m going to enjoy these last few days. I’m going to ignore the fear that I am going to die.
            
            I have more time, more notice, than a lot of people.
            
            Part of me hopes I die in surgery.

Fanfiction
            
            
                                          My health

@FlowersandVeronica "Yeah hi is this Death? Yeah hey can I push that appointment off for a bit. Mhm yeah something came up, yeah yeah thanks."

Okay I’ll delay my death

i hope she has a backlog of how many times she has to roll in her grave
            tossing and turning

dw i live laugh and love to spite valerie at every given moment it is funny <3

*me laughing*
            
            *me remembering its true*
            
            *me: oh god....*
            
            
            
            
            
            *still laughs cause kinda funny*

fuck off

you’re disrespecting my dying wishes

@FlowersandVeronica I'm gonna keep reading concrete out of spite

this aged badly