FluroFyreFlies

@dreamybanana: Can you critique my storie Suicidal Phase?

Shelley2594

hey you.......yes you looking at screen 
          
          im kinda a newbe it would mean alot to me if you could take a look at my story, i know that they arent grate cuz i just started writing....... 
          
          see if you could tell me what you REALLY think like what im good at and what i need work on that would help SO much....... 
          
          because all the people that have read it say like 'good work' or 'keep going' but that dont help me get better so i would be really thankful if you did this... 
          
          michelle

Davick

Could you please read my first book called Conjured? It's a supernatural fantasy about a thirteen year old boy named Chuck. He is going to find out that he's a very rare and gifted person with the ability to conjure up just about anything the heart can dream or imagine. He will have to risk everything to save our world and his hidden, magical world called Astrum. Also resting on his shoulders is the dire need to rekindle the magic that was completely destroyed everywhere nearly thirteen years ago. Join Chuck in an adventure of a lifetime along with his best friend Alex and his newfound magical companion, a Gremble named Chaos. Ultimate magic awaits you inside the spectacular world of Conjured! 
          Please read Conjured today. The first three chapters are now available on Wattpad! Please vote and comment.
          Thanks.     

Damonh

hi!
          I'm Yna and i'm currently writing "Dangerous Prince: The Choice"... i hope you have free time to read it... please leave a comment there (I just want to know what you think about it... and if you liked it) or vote or become a fan...
          here are some of the lines from my story...
          
          "But I have said before that i don't like you!" Urgh! The last thing I needed now was a stalker!
          
          "I don't care," she said stubbornly. "I won't give up. I know you'll fall for me in the end."
          
          "What the -" She smiled when she saw the reaction on my face. "I. Will. Never. Fall. For. You."
          
          Analee's smile grew wider. "I can always make you love me."
          
          "What?" I shouted.
          
          She bit her lower lip again, her eyes gleaming with anticipation.
          
          "You are a pathetic little bitch," I said through gritted teeth. Was this demon making fun of me? Was this some kind of a joke for her?
          
          She walked gracefully towards me and before i could even move a muscle, she tip - toed and kissed me on the lips.
          
          Damn! She stole my first kiss! The nerve of this girl!
          
          She moved her face an inch away from me and whispered huskily, "Well, I am the bitch who will make sure that one day you'll kneel before me begging for my affection."
          
          thanks! ^_^

moongazerkai07

hi there, i was just wondering if you could drop by at my profile and check out my story entitled
          
          SCARLET MIDNIGHT
          
          I also have a collection of poems to read. hope you could leave a comment, constructive criticisms lol and even just vote. thank you so much
          
          
          moongazer

CathyL0v3

Yeah, you know what this is....[but you probably do them too :]
          Hi!!! I'm CathyL0v3, & could you read my stories ;) ?
          ~ ~ ~ ~
          Defying Stereotypes – A cute teen romance, where opposites attract, pissing everyone off as they do.
          
          Jenn – A cute little blonde who shys away from society, and is just trying finish her junior year peacefully. But fate has other plans, as she tries to hide from her gym teacher, skip class – on account of someone's persuasion, avoid, her tormenter and classmate, Honey, hate her best friend,  & fall for a completely off – limits guy.
          
          Christopher - Falls right back. And it doesn't help that Honey is – no not his exgirlfriend, that might be even better but, – his half sister. 
          
          Everybody else: Hates them for it or could care less. That is until a certain someone comes waltzing back into Jenn's life ready to take his spot in her life back, after leaving for two years. 
          ~
          Keep Your heart, I Want Your Blood – A Hot-Hot-Hot Fantasy Story ;D
          Shifters, vampires, werewolves, at war with each other. Brutal attacks from werewolves directed at shifters, leave the shifters with no choice but an alliance...with vampires, one of there sworn enemies. Completely desperate they send June, a young teenage girl, along with her friends, include two very hot boys, Val and Just, off to protect high ranking, sexy vampires. A cute shifter wolf, a blood-sucking hotty, and an over protective best friend, all play a part in this story, causing whatever mayhem they can, but petty teen relationships aren't they're only problem...there's been a leak. The werewolves keep finding them, meaning only one thing...there's a traitor. But we can't forget jealous girlfriends, and boys who are in love with their best friend! Even though they're on an important mission, they can't seem to keep your hands off each other.
          -Everyone is obsessed with Just --> its no secret why ;) -
          ~
          Stuck For Forty days With Seven Other Immature, Hormone – Driven Teenager. - Teen romance, with a bit of a twist ;)
          
          So government want's to study these kids? Alright, are they in for some drama...What happens when you mix, four teen girls, four teen boys, romance, jealousy, & undiscovered friendships? Nothing the government can't hand of course. Wrong. These kids were brought her against there will & they want out. The must set aside their difference, remove their eyes from whatever other teenager they are attracted too, and work together to escape. But some questions are more important...Will Landon & Emma – Beth ever realize they belong together? Will Delilah ever come out of her room long enough to see Hector staring at her? And will some one PLEASE tell Mark to get his hands off whatever girl he was them on at the moment? [Oh of course Mark..I'm free.] (;
          ~
          Thanks – even if you dont look, BUT I REALLLLY HOPE YOU DO ;D
          I'll try to return the favor 
          
          - - Always, CathyL0v3 - - -