ForeverBlankFace

Y’all go follow my new account @cottonleaff

ForeverBlankFace

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I’ve been thinking about how sexual assault and rape has been brought to the worlds attention more and more lately and it keeps reminding me of when it happened to me. I was six years old when some guy decided he couldn’t keep it in his pants. Six fucking years old. I didn’t even know that you could do that to a person, and he forced it onto me. I didn’t tell anyone. I thought it was my fault. If I told someone, he probably would have been caught, he probably would have been punished, not still out there, roaming the streets as if nothing happened. I spent years trying to force it out of my mind and yet it always comes back. The fact that I didn’t fight it. The fact that I didn’t scream or run or tell someone. The fact that I stayed silent because I didn’t understand. Why the fuck did that happen. Why didn’t I scream. Why didn’t I get help. What the fuck happened?

Fcklifeihateit

this message may be offensive 
@ForeverBlankFace I know you probably don’t know me, and I’m not important. But I just want to say I’m so so sorry that happened. Six. There are fucking monsters out there. I’m so sorry.
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ForeverBlankFace

ive been wanting to come out to my parents for awhile now but i keep having to stop myself because their abusive homophic jerks who almost kicked me out when i was 11 because i became friends with a bullied and abused trans person. sucks i still have to live with them but im not old enough to live on my own

ForeverBlankFace

I screwed up. Again, like always. I hurt someone. I hurt multiple people, I betrayed my friends and I wish I could take it back. Turn back the clock, never post what I did or say what I said. But I can't. I want to scream and cry and yell and run but I can't. I feel this strong urge to cry but my mind says it can't. That I'm incapable of crying. I wish I could go back to when I was 7, when I tried to kill myself, and I want to do it right this time. I get that suicide should never be an option, but it's so hard. I want to run away and hide forever and stop existing. 
          I have so many friends who are amazing and care so much about me and would be there for me in a heartbeat, so I feel selfish. I want everything to go back to normal. I want to not exist so I can't hurt anyone anymore. I want to not exist so no one will have to worry about me. I want to disappear.

here_for_laughs

@ForeverBlankFace I'm simply doing my job :)
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ForeverBlankFace

@here_for_laughs thank-you, so, so so much. I will remember the offer and try my best ☺️.
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here_for_laughs

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@ForeverBlankFace I need you to listen to me please, I have been there to many damn times. The scars on my arms, legs and stomach show that. I can not describe how depressed I've felt in the past and you've already done the biggest step to getting past it, You've opened up about your problems and that's the hardest thing to do. You're right, suicide is never the right option you need to remember that. A way I tried to stay positive was that if you feel you've hit rock bottom, the only way you have left to go is back up. Yes you're going to hit rock bottom again, we all do but for now I just need you to focus on swimming back up the the surface. Don't think about what's below you, don't think about all the feelings of depression or regret as we live and we learn. I know all this is easier said then done but I need you to try your hardest for me. I'm always ALWAYS going to be here for you whenever you need me. Don't hesitate to talk to me, I know about this stuff, it's hard I know and the worst thing you can do is feel its all your fault. The people who try and say "Hold your head up, you're gonna be fine" or "You're too young to be sad" don't fucking know how hard you try to please them and to be the best person you can be. You're amazing, you have the best personality, you have the best writing I've ever read, I'm not lying. Even if you feel like no one in the world cares, they do. I do. Please be strong, you're incredible, you're brave, you're gorgeous, you're amazing, you're caring, you're loyal, youre sensitive and that's good. Remember my offer, talk to me when you want and need. I love you, we all do x
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ForeverBlankFace

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Guys I know this isn't something to cry over but I'm literally so pissed about it. I want to change my password cause I can't remember it but it requires my fucking email AND I DONT USE THAT EMAIL ANYMORE. I CANT ACCESS IT. WHAT THE FUCK WATTPAD. I CANT DO SHIT WITHOUT MY EMAIL AND I CANT USE IT

ForeverBlankFace

@ForeverBlankFace haha I did try that, actually. But it didn't work. Apparently my other email was already used, but whenever I tried to sign in with it, it didn't work. It was really frustrating. I think I figured it out though
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KisaBliss

@ForeverBlankFace Switch your email to your current email, then you can change your password
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ForeverBlankFace

What's up guys! Idk if any of you are on twitter, but I just got on it and would love it if y'all could follow me.
          @EmptyButSmiling
          Please follow me it would mean a lot I also want to share my art more on there. Thanks guys!

ForeverBlankFace

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@ForeverBlankFace nevermind don't follow me. I'm a shit person who doesn't deserve anything.
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