@FreddieAndGeorgie22 It gets better, I promise. At least for my case, because the films I write for are about WWII, the fandoms have people who are in their late teens, early twenties, so we've all had that first fandom that probably wasn't the best and learned. I find it a lot more enjoyable, but that’s just me. And besides, you don't have to have a "fandom" to write. Write whatever the hell you want. Post it if you want, who cares? And if no one reads it? To hell with it! You write for yourself, not for others.
I understand it can be tricky at first (I had tossed around the idea of quitting for almost a year before I finally did it), but you gotta realize that you're just growing. And that's perfectly fine. Nothing's "falling apart" necessarily, it's just changing. Change can be scary, but if you are able to realize that this doesn't have to be "the end" of your creative outlet and you finding new interests is a good thing, I think it'll be a bit easier.
Just remember nothing is about the numbers and instead your own happiness. To be completely and embarrassingly honest, the best story I have written this entire year is a story with my persona dating my celebrity crush. I started it after a random thought and never intended to post it, and yet it is like the best thing I've written.
*coughs* But yeah, I understand your fear, sentiment, and appreciation. For me, personally, leaving was very bittersweet (mostly bitter, unfortunately), but over time, I have come to terms with a lot of those emotions and have been able to appreciate it the same way you have. If you end up joining a new fandom, cool. If you don't, that's cool as well. If you end up writing stuff just for yourself that no one else may see? That's awesome.
I promise this will get easier, and this growth doesn’t have to be scary. You’re already one step ahead of me, anyhow. Trust me when I say that leaving with a thank you is a lot healthier than leaving with a grudge.
