aya [ closed acc ]

i know myself that being pursued is not the basis for being pretty and likable, but sometimes, it made me think that it is. 
          
          kind of painful, but what can i do? :)

i do ask myself a lot if there would be a chance that i could write stories again just like years ago, and the answer is still the same. still, "maybe next time."

looking back on our memories, i admit i slightly missed your presence and your jolly but sweet-like personality. 
          
          .. but i can no longer bring back things that are broken already and maybe, yet, will never be fixed.

tired. 

writing stories makes me happy because I could create a meaningful life for my characters that I wished to have through my imagination, whereas in reality, my life is meaningless.
          
          

living life unmotivated. 

when is my turn to be loved like how i deserve it, lord?

you don't know shit about me so know your place.

i guess, i'm not likeable enough. all my life, i've never experienced the moment where someone would confess their feelings to me.

i'll die with people's stabs in my heart, and still no one would try to get the knife.