migs

heyy
          i decided to pop in and give yall a life update since it's been pretty much three months since I've last been active
          ive been doing boxing, i ended up spraining both of my wrists and tearing the muscle in my upper arm 
          i have slight love interest, we have the same boxing coach so we just decided to partner up and exchange numbers
          i lost more friends, but it's fine because the more i lose, the more observant and careful i become, and now i know who the real ones are, ykwim?
          uhh what elseee
          ion think i got anything else for now, so im probs just gonna be back in another three months or so

Hello there how are you doing?? I hope you’re well and I hope life is treating you well! ^^

yall i dont even feel real anymore LMAOAO like it's actually funny to me how i've completely forgotten who i am 
          like who am i bro??
          lady??
          aid?
          blurr??
          ode??
          miggy??
          mags??
          i dont even know anymore man
          i dont have a name i can stick with because someone will end up ruining it and i'll have to change everything about me again
          and i'll be honest, realizing how many times ive changed my identity because of people makes me feel sick in the stomach man.
          my trust issues are at their peak, and i dont feel like i can trust anyone anymore, not even the people i hold dearly to my heart. i've let three people go because one person had to make me look like the bad guy in the situation. and you know whats funny? i genuinely loved those three, they were like my siblings, everything but a few things were cons. and as soon as i vent about it, it's taken advantage of. 
          God, I genuinely hate people nowadays. I wish i could be the happy person I used to be, but that's not possible when I cant trust anyone anymore.

Happy new year! <3 may you have a good 2024<33

Hey how are you doing? I hope your well and I that I love you/p <3 
          Don’t give up, you’ll get better one day, you may seem like it’s never gonna get better but it will! I’m proud of you for making it this far!
          Please take care of yourself! <3 
          Your important to all of us, we all love you a lot! Please make sure to not harm yourself in anyway, your important to us..we can’t lose you at all! Love ya, don’t ever let others bring you down! 

What in the world is going on in your life to make you so suicidal???!!! I literally don't want to live with the fact that someone I love is trying to off themselves everyday?? If you need some support you have us!! We stand by you and i really love u gurl and I want to see you happy and positive everyday.
          
          And if affirmation is what you wanna here then...
          
          I'm really proud of you for making it this far and I'm proud of the fact that you're still here, this far. Don't you ever stop loving yourself I'll always be proud to be someone you loved
          
          And if you see this ... (which I know you will eventually...hopefully) 
          
          I just want to know what's making you feel this way  and if there is any way I can help you feel like you again. . . So please talk to me 

I turned off all of my emotions before.
          
          and I wasn't able to turn them back on for a while.
          
          but I got them to flicker.
          
          maybe ..
          
          just maybe ..
          
          they'll come back.

second attempt failed.

my art teacher almost made me cry today.
          
          in a good way, of course.
          
          she told me that she was proud of me.
          
          those exact words ..
          
          "I'm proud of you."
          
          . . .
          
          I haven't heard them in a while.
          
          a while as in 
          
          seconds
          
          minutes
          
          hours
          
          days
          
          weeks
          
          months
          
          3 years.

The urge to make another attempt.
          
          Maybe I won't be caught, but how would I know.
          
          I'm in school.
          
          But there's always a lock on a bathroom stall door.