im a cryptid

friend: hey what's going on
          my brain: *banging pots and pans* OSOMATSU SAN! OSOMATSU SAN! OSOMATSU SAN! OSOMATSU SAN! OSOMATSU SAN! OSOMATSU SAN!
          me: nothing much wbu

history teacher: we might be playing a geography game tomorrow 
          me: get ready to die losers 

what really fucks me up is how karamatsu, a guy who's never stood up for himself, took a stand for his little brother and literally punted osomatsu into a door 
          he literally sent oso, the unstable and violent brother, flying across the room with /one punch/
          and he had given him fair warning 
          he told him to stop but osomatsu ignored him and snarled 
          jesus christ karamatsu is meta 

wow alright i guess wattpad hates emojis

for some reason emojis won't show up in my comments??? i can't put  anymore this is terrible

imagine busting a nut in church

me: i should check my recommended stories!
          recommended stories: all dirkjake or davejohn
          me: FCUK

hahahahahah aha guess who's given up on shore to sky

my friends: why do you headcanon jake english as an asexual filipino? is it because you're an asexual filipino? 
          me, rubbing my ace filipino headcanons on jake english: im sorry am i making you uncomfortable

when a person on the group chat is getting roasted and you're just like sitting in the corner sipping your soda