I don't get out much. 
 
I don't have any really exciting hobbies or unique skills.  My cholesterol is a little high along with my blood pressure.  I watch a lot of TV.  I still have cable.  I go to the bank to cash checks.  I used to have a dog.  I'm kinda old. I'll probably end up living in a cabin in the woods one day.  As long as it has cable.

But there is this.  I do find it funny to stand in crowds and make comments for others to hear. ..... It would go something like this:

Me, "I'm hungry.  Are you?"
Person I'm with, lets call her Princess Lea, "Yea, I am.  What do you feel like?"

Me. Now talking loud enough that the people around me can here me but not so loud that it sounds like I want them to hear me.  " Well, I'm up for anything but I have to say these humans look delicious."

Princess, "Stop it, it's not funny.

Me, "I'm not kidding, I know we're not supposed to eat them while we're here but come on, it's like dangling a Glorgian rat's tongue sandwich in front of hungry Wilderkanivel and telling it not to eat it."

Princess, "Shut up."

Me. "Or what?  You'll report me to the Overlord?  He's 10 billion light years away.  What's he gonna do?"

Eventually I would agree to pizza or something with the understanding that you can't get good human this time of night.  

Most people would think I am just weird, but someday maybe someone might think that aliens are living amongst us and hungering for a barbecued human sandwich with sweet potato fries.  You can't get sweet potato fries anywhere in the galaxy other than Earth by the way.

So about now you're probably thinking,  This guy is weird, why am I still reading this?  What possible thing could this wacko write that would interest me?  

Well, let's find out.