NoOneAtAll

I hate my dad sm. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. God I hate him. I could've had a decent life. I actually just hate every single man I've ever met. None of them have ever been good to me. Ever. And every woman ik defends them. It is such shit how brainwashed women are to accept the misogyny and disgusting words and actions men throw at us. God I feel so disgusting every time a man speaks to me without me engaging first, if a man touches me I will crash out I am mentally unstable ok I admit it I cannot do this anymore. I can't imagine myself loving a man or marrying one or having kids with one. I can't even imagine myself living past 30 on my own let alone suffering with a man next to me. When a man is near me I physically feel such a strong sense of unease and illness in my gut. I feel unsafe. 

Hi can you adopt me plz

Guys Lucas is 13 and a half lbs lol he's so heavy! 
          
          Also another amazing thing that's happened recently, we got a new doggy! Her name is Dolly, she's a white shih tzu. She's so cute! 

IM BACKKKK!! again.
          
          Anyways my little baby brother is so perfect and chunky now yall I'm gonna cry he's almost 2 months I can't do this rn (ToT) how is it going so fast 
          
          I'm staying home with him while my mom works and I've always said I don't want kids but lord I'm so good at this lmfao 
          
          Anyone wanna support me financially while I stay home w the kids?? Jk....

Lucas is doing super good rn! Sorry my whole personality is gonna be abt my baby brother for a while, I'm just so excited he's here! He's in the NICU still, he's on oxygen, but he's only on a level 5, they want him good on a level 4 before he's off again, and they think it'll be soon. His numbers went down and his stomach so he got off of the blue pad for jaundice!! AND his milk got moved from only 35 ML to 42 ML of milk and he's eating it rlly well on now from a bottle. I fed him his first bottle of 42 before we left the hospital earlier today, and he ate it so well. He's just so perfect we really hope he's home soon and hopefully sometime this week.

Lucas was on oxygen until yesterday, then he got taken off. Unfortunately this morning he had a little set back and got put back on. He's doing good otherwise. Be got out on the blue pad thing bc he was jaundice and stuff, so he'll be here for a little while longer. Good news is he's bottle eating his meals instead of being fed through his tube!! He's not at 52 ml yet, only 35 but that's nearly there! He's doing very good He's so tiny my mom is nervous to do much on her own and all the oxygen and his feeding tube chords make it so scary to hold him but we are getting the hang of it. 

BABIES HERE!! 
          My mom had her tube's tied and they have to compress her stomach every 15 mins for the rest of today to make sure it all went well and stuff, regular monitoring etc. So she'll be here for 3 days. Baby boy was born w fluid in his lungs, and he's in the NICU getting oxygen, he's so tiny. He weighs 6.2 lbs and he's 18 inches long super tiny like his dad was. 
          I almost cried when I went to see my mom bc she's sobbing in pain and how do you not cry when your momma is in pain it hurts my heart sm (ToT) we have our moments but she's my bsf. 
          She's waiting to be sent to a room, they want to make sure everything will be ok first before then so she'll be waiting til rlly late tonight so we are gonna see baby Lucas and then come back in the morning, per her request otherwise I'd be staying here 

My mom went in for her last baby appointment today before he's here, doctor was worried and had to do tests bc mom's BP was pretty high. Doctor said if the tests are even slightly off baby will have to come early or mom will be sitting in the hospital until next Wednesday :-(

Guysss!! I'm crying!! 
          Pls watch KinnPorsche for one it's SO FKN GOOD I promise! I rewatch it at least once every 6 months lol. Second don't watch anything else those actors play in, especially not the series Shine bc now I'm sobbing and omg the whole thing just ripped my heart out repeatedly and squeezed it every time I watched another episode. 
          I'm joking obviously go watch these series they're such great actors the two mains are! I recommend it, anything they play in actually. I don't think they're in much rn but a few series and a movie or two. 

Ok girls and gays, the time has come....the babies name....is...
          
          
          LUCAS! Yes it's Lucas we decided today. I'll give his full name minus last name. 
          Lucas Zachary Creed. And then his dad's last name. All the names hold a meaning, esp the two middle names so no criticism ok (ToT) he's the first of 5 w 2 middle names lol but I love it. 
          
          Also, we chose Lucas and not Mason bc we realized way way too late we have a cousin named Mason we aren't close w them but it just felt weird giving him the same name as someone we know lolol