Gemi2703
not me having a dream about cuddling eith louis last night-
(I luv him so fookin much)
Gemi2703
Gemi2703
this message may be offensive
when I'm playing the life board game and it's time for marriage so I choose a second pink peg bc its the only way I feel valid but my family still get annoyed with me for "shoving my nonsense" down their throats and also I'm just "confused" and/or "faking it". bc obviously I choose to be this way and I love getting called the f slur and every fucking day having a mini crisis because I barely know who I am.
Gemi2703
this message may be offensive
race horses get put down after one broken leg and yet religious "holier-than-thou" dicks, condescending doctors, and power-obsessed politician just get to decide that euthanasia is unethical because they don't understand it. humans will have cancer that's spread to their entire body, in excruciating pain and unable to talk or clean themselves and people who've never known anyone or experienced terminal or other illnesses with such a low quality of life just don't want it to be legal so it's not?! it's fucking disgusting. how dare they. it makes me so fucking angry. let people leave this world with a little bit of fucking dignity.
bubbasquish09
Hey :)
I'm just checking in on you x
Are you alright?
Gemi2703
this message may be offensive
if I'm never online ever again I'm sorry but I really can't deal with this bs anymore...I've tried everything to feel even slightly better but I'm so physically amd mentally exhausted and I just wanna finally use my pill stash and just drink a cuppa and go to sleep... I really do love you all... I'm sorry I haven't been online much recently. I've just been fucking around a lot bc things have been getting so much worse. there are so many things I generated to do with my life but I'm sick of my stupid mother and her mother fucking bf. they took away the tv bc I'm tired and just wanted to shower and sleep. I'm not even allowed to drink tea tonight technically because I yelled at my mum for being a bitch a telling me off for literally just existing. I'm sad and I don't have the energy to try anymore so um... if it doesn't work I guess I'll update next time I have the energy to actually click on an app on my phone
bubbasquish09
@Gemi2703 Hey now, please don't hurt yourself or make yourself disappear :( You are very much wanted and beloved in this world and it'd be so so disheartening to have you gone. And though it'll seem like the opposite at times, just know that you were given the life you have because you are brave enough and strong enough to live it. You're allowed to feel broken, to feel sad and so lost. You're allowed to feel dark and feel like nobody is there for you. But sometimes it doesn't mean it's true; it just means you're human. Things affect you and that's normal and it's okay. And though the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it. A lot of people don't realise how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally, so if you've done that today or any day, know that I, just one small random person in this very big world, am proud of you. I sincerely hope you are able to find the will to continue fighting for yourself. I know I'll be rooting for you. If you need anything - a listening ear, some advice, a virtual shoulder to cry on, anything at all - I'd be more than happy to help. It's going to be okay. You aren't alone, I believe in you xx
Gemi2703
ain't no way when I texted my mother please text me later it autocorrected to people touch me lots
Gemi2703
this message may be offensive
nothings going right and I'm so sad and I'm alone and everything I do annoys people and nobody understands and I hate that I can't control my emotions and I'm pretty sure I have a mood or personality disorder because normal people aren't like me and I'm cold, I'm always cold and i just want to be held 24/7 but I also just wanna punch amd throw shit and scream and stab someone and hike up a waterfall and just lay there till civilization crumbles and I have no memory or reminders of every who's hurt or abandoned mebecause more often than not I just wanna run away from everyone amd everything and forget everything about my entire stupid life and become a new person, preferably one who doesn't cry every time she sees daughters with her mum and dad looking happy or cry for hours without being able to stop because there were too many cars outside and the water pressure in her shower was low
bubbasquish09
@Gemi2703 hey x I understand you're going through a hard time, and I'm here if you need someone, for anything :) you aren't alone, and you certainly aren't aren't alone in the things you feel x
Gemi2703
"how are you doing"
oh how kind of u. cuz of what u said I tried to kms yesterday. thanks for asking bitch.
(I 'luv' my family)
Gemi2703
I'm such a fatass. I ate 1,129kcals today eughhh
Larrystylinsonsep
@Gemi2703 that sounds yummy!! i love eating so much, :( im sorry u threw up the pasta tho , i believe 1378k cals is a little under what you’re supposed to eat tho no?
Gemi2703
@Larrystylinsonsep ½ a piece of toast with peanut butter 2 bowls of cheerios 2 cups of soda pasta and veggies but I made myself throw up corn chips and cream cheese vanilla bean yogurt with Chai seeds yorkshire tea with milk and sugar a Ferrero rocher ½ an apple but I threw that up and as of rn it's now 1378kcal
Gemi2703
reasons to be alive
1. Louis tomlinson is actually real
2. the like a Dino! game
3. wattpad
4. finally losing weight
5. I refuse to die a virgin
6. vapes
7. energy drinks
8. my bed
Larrystylinsonsep
@Gemi2703 <333333333333333 im gladd, im okay ish aswell ToT I’ve been sick for like 3 weeks