MyChemicalRomance412

Sometimes, it feels as if we were put on this Earth to only feel pain. Life is full of so much loss. So many people you love are gone before you even have the chance to say goodbye. Before you have the chance to tell them what they meant to you. I look at the people around me and I can’t help but wonder when death will take them away too. It tortures me. There’s always this lingering thought in my mind reminding me that one day my family and my dearest friends won’t be here anymore. Why do we worry about such stupid things when we should be appreciating the people around us? Why do we care so much about things that shouldn’t matter? If I could go back in time and have just five minutes, I would say so much. It’s been six months and the smallest things are still a reminder of what I have lost. I carry this constant fear that someone else will take death’s hand and vanish too. I see crystal clear memories of so many amazing memories and I see so many more of my regrets. I wish I had been around more. I wish I wasn’t so focused on my self sorrows. I wish I wasn’t so naive to think that everyone would be around forever. I wish that I was the person that I am now. I wish I wasn’t the depressed and miserable girl that I was back then. I wish that I hadn’t locked myself in my room all the time. I wish that I spent more time with them. I was going through so much and they were always there for me. I was so crazy to believe that would last forever. I was so crazy to believe that death wouldn’t even come close to my loved ones. And now here I am six months later wishing for just one more conversation. For one more word of advice to tell me which way to turn, where to direct my life. Because I am at a complete loss. 

I am so excited. I’m at the movies right now to see After!!! 

I'm not okay!

Hi, Gerard! Thanks for voting on my story, Tranquility! It means a lot!

Tis it bad that I would return to my love despite how badly my heart has been broken?
          
          Tis it an awful thing that I would fall back into his arms without another word having to be spoken?
          
          And tis it bad that though I moved on I still think about him and only him every waking second?
          
          Tis it awful that I have fallen into a deeper and darker depression that kills my soul all because he is the only one that I reckon?
          
          Tis it bad that I still stare at him and hope that maybe he would one day come back to me?
          
          Tis it awful that I'm almost in tears again because I wish it was him and I sitting in the kissing tree? 
          
          Tis it bad my heart still feels heavy and alone?
          
          And tis it awful that I still see him as my only home?
          
          He hurt me more than ever. 
          
          I tried so hard to get him back and he said it will happen again, never.
          
          I fought so much.
          
          And he left me, then moved on with a rush.
          
          But I would still go back to him. 
          
          I would let him back in without even having to question it. 
          
          Why go back to someone who hurt my heart?
          
          Because I love him more than the world could ever remark.  
          

I feel dead.

Thanks a bunch for all the votes on Baking With A Rockstar, I really appreciate it. 
          
          I hope you're doing well, have a great day. ❤

Love shouldn't exist...it's the most painful thing on this planet.

I feel like a kid again. Laying In bed with hot pink sweatpants and a 1D hoodie jamming out to old One Direction songs.

Gaaaaaaaaa  I am so happy