Hi everyone,
Before I get on with what I what to say, I want you to understand something: what I am sharing with you on this post is not to gain your pity and this is probably the hardest thing I have done.
Recently, I learned something about someone that I love that they have been hiding for about 7 years. What I learned lead me to go through a variety of different emotions from grief to guilt and finally acceptance. During this process, it lead me to deal with alot of things that I had been subconsciously avoiding. Things that I thought I dealt with but I didn't.
I realised that to let go and get better I needed to open up. I shared a secret that I had been hiding for a long time with my best friends. This scary for me because even though my account is anonymous their are still people I know following me and maybe reading this.
At the age of 9, a couple of my classmates harassed me. From the occasional sexual comment to the forceful hugs and the constant need to point out something bad about me.
This led me develop anxiety and depression. I started to distance myself from people in my life and lived for the sake of living. I became a shell of the person I was who constantly scared, angry, lonely and panicked. I didn't tell anyone anything because I was ashamed of myself. Who learned to deal with the struggle of her mental through jokes, self destruction and thinking shes okay. This led me to lose trust in everyone. Being scared to let anyone new into my life. I became toxic.
I am done being that person. I need to accept and live. Not for anyone else but me. I am writing this to show you that there are people out there going through similar stuff and that there is help out there for you.
Thank you for reading,
Girlstar xx
