Chat, my cat took his last breath this morning when I was asleep. I had a nightmare that my cat left my lap, looked back at me once before walking away into the distance, I called his name with a heavy breath, my throat was burning, my sight blurred out from eyesweat but he didn't look back. I extended my arm for him to grasp it, to meow apologetically and lick my palm, pat my lap with his small paw and sit back on it and look at me with those brown attention seeking eyes that'd tell me to pat its head with affection as he'd purr. But he didn't, nothing like my expectation came true even in my dream. I woke up abruptly from this nightmare before shaking my head and going back to sleep. Was it my imagination when I heard my mum weeping softly as the sound of her voice broke thru my door when she announced that 'he has died' to my sibling? My nightmare instead came true when she breaks it to me that my cat is no longer here to meow for his hunger, to wiggle his tail to be patted on his head, to run to his favorite spot and sleep on it soundly, to run away from me from the fear of being victimized by me squeezing his soft body. Why must my happiness be temporary when I find a light to carry on with my miserable life? Must I suffer from the loss of something precious to me every time I want to clutch it to my chest and to never let it go? I used to look at his face with adoration, thinking what might I do if he's not around me anymore to look at him the way I do now? Had once I thought of it the other way around, would he still be sticking around me as I'd caress its soft body instead of writing this with shaky hands? Is it that I caught a cold that I'm sniffling back the substance trying to run thru my nose or is it a sign of me mourning my cat whose dead body I couldn't even catch a glimpse of for the last time before it was buried in the earth?
