Golfies_2763rddimple
Merry Christmas!!
(Off topic, but I'll be way more inactive here on Wattpad and more active on AO3. My user there is ,,Tengolf". Yeah just Tengolf)
Golfies_2763rddimple
Golfies_2763rddimple
I'm permanently discontinuing soksos. The reason why is that it just makes me feel worse. I try to write a chapter but I just can't. It's 7th grade all over again irl. I study so hard, know everything so well. Bam. Bad grade. My mom has also been scolding me for various reasons even when I haven't done anything, for example today she grounded me bc her blood test results papers where all over the floor AFTER she found out my dad did that. Her reasoning was that I tried to defend myself and that I didn't clean my room properly which is ironic considering how the whole house is a mess. All my life I have lived in a messy excuse of a house. My mom doesn't even clean at, if she does, she just washes the dishes. I used to try to clean the kitchen, bathroom and living room but they end up looking like the same messy rooms as before. That makes me demotivated to clean my own room and my mom's then mad at me, when she herself dust laze all day, doesn't even have a job and blames it on her anemia. I mean I understand, like of course, It's unfortunate she has anemia but she isn't even feeling unwell anymore. She isn't even trying to clean or get a job. Trust me,, I know sher health is better now. I've read her blood tests and thing. Anyways back to academic related things. I do get a few 100 every week, but they're all with low percentage grade for the final grade, while the others have more weight. All my avarage grades are 85-96, expect for sports where I have 100%,, but that's not enough. I don't want to just be a good student. (the rest of the message is in replies, I'd how long the limit for messages is)
stolasn1fan
Hey twin i know this was two weeks ago but im still saying this, i was always inspiried by you and ur genuinly thr most important and talented person i can think of. No one I know in real life is as great as you.Im mot forcing you to keep writing and its okay if youre taking a break.Just now im always here for you and you can always vent to me whenever you want! I might not give out the bestest advice but ill try as hard as i could. Bye lora i hope it gets better!!
Golfies_2763rddimple
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offensive
@Golfies_2763rddimple I want to be a great student. Recently I got a 85% on a math quiz, mainly cuz the teacher gave us a math problem, which we haven't even solved any like that from that type. My mom got mad at me and told me I'm not trying hard enough, which is simply false. I wrote over 20 pages worth of math r problems just to train for the quiz. Yet I got a fucking 5. Nobody in my family is congratulating me for 100% but when I get something below 94 it's the end of the world. Tbh idm 81,5-90s anymore that much I guess. They still upset me to the point of almost hurting myself (Golfball being the only reason I dont do that a lot) but I've only done it once recently cuz of a grade around that range (though it's a complete other stry when it comes to below 80%). Things just keep getting worse, I feel like the only thing preventing me from ending it are my friends and Golfball. Though you may say she's only a fictional character to me she is not. She is one of the reasons I don't just take the pulse lowering pills already. She's the reason why I struggle to stay clean. My friends help me escape these thoughts for some time, but rarely for longer than how much we've talked. My mom doesn't believe my stress is real and just says I'm lazy. And when she finds out I've hurt myself again, she usually guilt trips me, starts to threaten to involve specialists, says she tries her best to be next to me, which is not true at all. She says that ,,if you're stressed out on the test you don't know the material well.,,. Butch, you witness me study my as off every day. Whatever, good night. Sorry for the vent, I don't know where else to vent.
B0TTLEGL4Z3R
I saw your Bio, firstly, your art is adorable!! And I’ve read your Bfdi x mlp book, the writing isn’t trash at all! You seem very cool, I bet you are. You might be unhappy with your grades, or your art, but you shouldn’t be. And you deserve all the good things you have and more :) if someone makes you feel unhappy, ignore em’, in the end, they’re the ones hating on people with better talent anyway. And if you want to talk to somebody, talk to someone close to you, or someone you trust, it’ll make you feel better that someone cares to listen to ya.
{sorry if anything is offensive}
<3
Golfies_2763rddimple
@B0TTLEGL4Z3R thank you nut I truly believe I've already failed in life, I can nerve happy with myself.. still tysm, I apprixiate it a lot! <3
Golfies_2763rddimple
this message may be offensive
Tbh, beginning to accept the fact that I will never be good at a and for anything. I mean I study/draw/write/wtv for hours, sometimes even staying up very late just to practice or etc and I don't improve. I try so hard but is there even a point in trying harder? I'm genuinely tired of everything. It's not like I'll ever be happy with anything I do. Who would be? I'm a fucking nobody. No talents, no capabilities, just a failure and nothing else.
Golfies_2763rddimple
@Golfies_2763rddimple I don't think I'll ever get there, there are many factors that make me feel that way.. though tysmm :))
B0TTLEGL4Z3R
@Golfies_2763rddimple hi, I don’t really know you at all but you’re not a failure at all!!! You seem really cool and I think I’ve seen ur animations and art and you’re so talented!! It might feel impossible to accomplish something, especially when you’ve been trying for so long, but one day you’ll get there! If you wanna talk about these things, you can talk to me <3
Golfies_2763rddimple
Should I try talking with my school therapists? I feel like I'll waste their time but I feel like things are getting serious. I've started coping with sh again and overall I feel worse than ever
The-realestcricket
You're not a waste of time, you deserve to talk to someone about what you're experiencing <3
Golfies_2763rddimple
I got a 3 on my informatics test
My hand reached out to the pencil sharpener
Golfies_2763rddimple
Unpublishing my WC x BFDI fic since I genuinely hate it sm and idk how to continue it
Golfies_2763rddimple
@peachyshyness I've already unpublished it, but I might rewrite it one day! I really hated how it was turning out for now, I wrote what came to mind and randomly stopped when the big plot came, so I just stopped writting it for a while. I finally unpublished it today
Golfies_2763rddimple
I have this idea for a tengolf fanfic that takes place in a time, based of the Turkish slavery which affected the country I'm from up to the 19th century.. and it will also be based of one of my favorite Bulgaria historical fiction books called ,,Under the yoke,, (I think that's the English translation) by Ivan Vazov! That book changed 11 year old me so much as a person. Ngl even though it's been just 2 years since I read it, I wish I can go back in time and reread it for the first time. Anyways so yeah! I'll probably start this fix after i finish writing butterfly island oddities and my ex x bfdi fix.
Good night!
Golfies_2763rddimple
Psst.. a birdie tols me soksos isnt discontinued anymore. ok bye/j
Golfies_2763rddimple
I was peacefully eating lunch in the school campus outside. Whilist I was savouring every bit of my mouth-wattering appetizing flavorful sandwich, a troop of three wicked wasps approached my nourishment and attacked it. Petrified, I quickly leaped upwards off the bench and left my sustenance in the box there. I swiftly closed the box and packed it up with a nylon receptacle and put it in my bag..
That's the tale of how I lost my lunch today, erlier