this message may be offensive
Yo, I know no one really cares rn, and no one will read this (probably) but I'm not feeling too hot right now. Like mentally. I've been thinking about * not friendly stuff* recently. I would never do it, I know have a nice life, these thoughts come up in small moments of weakness then go away. And what really depressing about this is that the only reason I'm feeling like this is school ( also Covid isolation but just a little bit) I get so much anxiety from school and I have no one close to me to talk to. I have a few distant friend but I never really contact as i am not good at upholding a functional relationship with someone. Like seriously i feel like shit right because what? i have a few bad grades? that's not something i should be so freaking worried over. Oh no i failed my AP class and now i have to do summer school. and? that's not that big of a deal, i wasn't going to do anything over the summer anyway. I just.... I don't know. I use the internet as escapism but that just makes me more behind in my classes. and it's not like im not learning, I'm just not doing the assignments. Then my parents yell at me about my grades and that doesn't motivate me at all, and neither does being grounded. Anyways I just wanted to get my feelings into word to maybe understand better and this the only social media site i use regularly that my parents aren't connected to. Thanks for reading my angsty rant