Grucifer69

i want to die cinematically. like do a backflip off a skyscraper at the age of 69 in tokyo or something

Grucifer69

having a future version of myself try to take my place and we’re in a standoff while one of my family members has a gun and doesn’t know which one to shoot. they end up shooting me because i forgot their birthdate
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Grucifer69

this message may be offensive 
or i could spend nine years getting my pilots license and when i’m finally able to fly alone just pull a 9/11 and crash into the side of one of the mountains in valemount. my remains would be eaten by forest animals and then later shit out to be used as fertilizer for said forest
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Grucifer69

attempting to hallucinate by refusing to sleep and my brain eventually says i can’t work in these conditions and i become a vegetable but my family can’t afford the treatment so they pull the plug but i wake up but now i’m depressed cuz my family tried to kill me and end up getting kidnapped by the canadian mafia cuz i was out wandering around in self pity. they torture me but i have a sick sense of humour and no desire to live so i’m crackin jokes like i’m ryan reynolds throughout and they decide to hire me because i told them in explicit detail the things i would do to anybody that hurts animals. end up becoming a hardened mercenary that is disgusted with the atrocities i had committed and eventually sit in my garage w the car running and die from fume inhalation
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Grucifer69

i want to die cinematically. like do a backflip off a skyscraper at the age of 69 in tokyo or something

Grucifer69

having a future version of myself try to take my place and we’re in a standoff while one of my family members has a gun and doesn’t know which one to shoot. they end up shooting me because i forgot their birthdate
• Reply

Grucifer69

this message may be offensive 
or i could spend nine years getting my pilots license and when i’m finally able to fly alone just pull a 9/11 and crash into the side of one of the mountains in valemount. my remains would be eaten by forest animals and then later shit out to be used as fertilizer for said forest
• Reply

Grucifer69

attempting to hallucinate by refusing to sleep and my brain eventually says i can’t work in these conditions and i become a vegetable but my family can’t afford the treatment so they pull the plug but i wake up but now i’m depressed cuz my family tried to kill me and end up getting kidnapped by the canadian mafia cuz i was out wandering around in self pity. they torture me but i have a sick sense of humour and no desire to live so i’m crackin jokes like i’m ryan reynolds throughout and they decide to hire me because i told them in explicit detail the things i would do to anybody that hurts animals. end up becoming a hardened mercenary that is disgusted with the atrocities i had committed and eventually sit in my garage w the car running and die from fume inhalation
• Reply

Grucifer69

Me all week: eats three meals a day, up at 7am, drinks 2 litres of water.
          Me on the weekend: sleeps till almost noon, doesn’t eat till 1, no water before 5pm. 
          
          
          It’s all or nothing ffs

SaltyLemonade69

@Lisden_needs_sleep No water till 5pm, bruh. Its like you just given up on your life on the weekends
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Grucifer69

Here’s a story: last night my mom and sister come rushing out of her bedroom whispering “there’s someone in the back yard looking through the windows” so my mom, being who she is, told me to get The Stick. The Stick is a big ol’ sturdy piece of tree branch that was widdled to a point used for impaling and to cause blunt force trauma. Well i couldn’t find it so I brought the next best thing. A large .22 replica. We’re standing on the sidewalk in our yard, my mom and sister holding dog spray and a shoe, and I whispered to my mom “I brought a gun” and she just burst out laughing.

Grucifer69

update: i found The Stick
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SaltyLemonade69

@Atlas_drowned The mysterious intruders will know what it truly means to face death if they come face to face with you the three musketeers lmao
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Grucifer69

@SaltyLemonade69 lol there was no one out there when we checked but this ain’t the first time. We’ll catch them one day
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SaltyLemonade69

this message may be offensive 
Oh my fucking God- I had that sheep herds in your background saved in my phone. I used it to advertise my sheep cult!

SaltyLemonade69

Sheep’s need to be herd
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Grucifer69

I love that you chose to focus on that part instead of the part about the sheep cult @H3ADL3SS
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H3ADL3SS

*sob*
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