Guessszzzxwhoo

Bleh

Time flies so fast 

Hiking the Fuji, huh? 

ALL ALONE. I CAN HANDLE IT ALL :)

We're friends for now... We're not both ready to have a relationship. Aral muna :)

While I was writing those memories, I'm listening to "falling for you" by the 1975. Nag start ako mga around 3pm tas ngayon 5:16pm na. I'm happy while typing those memories. Sana madagdagan pa. Sana siya na po. More memories to comeeee! Thank you God, Thank you David, Thank you Self. 

Around 3pm, April 26, We called again sa ig. Third call. Saglit lang yon mga 10 mins. Yung second call namin kasi tumagal ng 2hr and 8 mins. Yung unang call, I just watched him washing the dishes, I didn't speak. Mga 50 mins din yon. He's so cute and masipaggg! As in, masipag na bata. Wahahahahhaha! Masipag din ako nohhhh!  Ayon... More memories to come :) Sana... God, thank you for these wonderful memories. I will treasure it. Sana po we're in a right way. Sana siya na. Sana kami na talaga ang para sa isa't isa. I hope... God, thank you. Thank you, Jesus ❤️
          
          

We fixed it. Bumalik sa normal. I unlocked him sa tiktok and ig. We started talking again... Sabi niya sa akin na "huwag akong ma anxious sa future, marami pang mangyayari. Mag cocollege ka pa. Mag focus muna raw ako sa present, sulitin at enjoyin ko." Ayon, I agreed. I'm so grateful for that guy. Grabe siya. He badly wants to hear my voice. I made a way kahit na bawal pa ako. Hindi ko pa sinasabi yung surname ko sa kanya. First name lang muna.  Nung nakaraan pa siyang nag aaya mag call sa ig pero hindi ko magawa kasi maraming tao at baka marinig nila. I'm afraid but I want it at the same time. Gumawa ako ng way para makausap siya sa call. Kahit na alam kong bawal pa, I still took the risk. Sa kwarto ng tita ko, katabi ko si Kelsy. Tulog na silang lahat, medjo gising pa si lola. I called him sa i.g. Voice lang muna. Hindi pa ako ready sa ipakita yung face ko. It was April 25, 10pm-2am, we're talking about some things. Such as dogs, mlbb, at nakikinig ako sa mga songs and payo nya. Sobrang saya ko ng gabing iyan. Sobrang gaan, sobrang saya, sobrang tuwa ko. And also him, he said na sobrang saya rin nya. Ang himbing daw ng tulog nya. He said na maganda raw voice ko, but I didn't believe in it whahahah! I don't think soooo! Nag uusap kami non tas naririnig pala ni Lola. Kinabukasan, sabi ni lola " gabi na may katawagan kapa." Sabi naman ni mama ko "babae o lalaki." I lied. Sabi ko babae, sabi ko si Jericka... I lied kasi they will be afraid pag nalaman nilang boy yung katalk ko. Kinausap ko si Jericka maya-maya, sabi ko pag tinanong siya, sabihin nalang nya na siya yung kausap ko nung gabi na yon. She's my bestieee, super grateful ako kasi nakilala ko sya way back in 2025. Then, that's it... We're clear na, naniwala naman sila na babae yung katalk ko kasi minsan may ka call naman talaga akong girl. So, ayon I lied... 

Hindi siya mawala sa isipan ko when I blocked him, may isa ako private acc and lagi lagi ko siya inistalk don when I blocked him sa main acc ko. I opened my mlbb acc, hindi ko siya blinock doon kasi sayang. Sayang yung affinity na pinaghirapan namin, niya. He texted many times there. Nanlambot ako, sobrang hulog na hulog parin kasi ako sa kanya that time. I'm anxious sa future pero alam kong mahal ko pa yon kahit iniwan ko siya that time. Ayon, nanlambot ao sa chat nya sa mga ml. Bumalik ako. I opened my main acc and I unblocked him there. Namimiss ko rin yung streak naming pinaghirapan kya talaga bumalik ako. Ayokong nawawaste yung pinaghirapan ng isang tao :(... I came back and talked to him again. I tried to push him away pero he didn't give up talaga. Patuloy parin siya, sana hindi siya magbago. Gusto ko na siya pakasalan. Sana kasama ko pa rin siya sa future, pang habang buhay na.

I confessed my feelings to him and he also confessed what he felt towards me. We like each other. Ayun, we started saying ily, late night talks, and kamustahan. I don't want to lose him "Cornelia Street". I really don't want to lose him but there are times that I pushed him away. Nakadalawang deactivated ako, but he didn't give up. He didn't give up. He still wants me after what he went through. I hurted him sometimes. Late replies ako minsan, minsan busy, minsan sadya. Ewan ko, natatakot din kasi akong masaktan nanaman kaya ko nagawa yon. I pushed him away sometimes, yet I always comeback. May time na super akong na anxious sa future. "Paano na yung future ko? Nadidistract ako sa kanya, ayoko na. I can't fight for him sa ngayon." I blocked him sa tiktok, ig, at fb. He tried to contact me. Gumawa siya ng two accs, he even talked to EL TROLL, indo guy siya. I met him way back in 2024, but madalang lang mag usap, puro play lang. Ayon kinausap ni David si El. He told him how much he likes me, he also said that I can't pursue him. Hindi ko raw kayang ipaglaban siya, pero ang totoo kaya ko naman talaga. Hindi lang sa ngayon. Sa future, kaya ko na. Sana andoon pa siya.