HMJMVJ
this message may be offensive
I don't think anyone looks at my acc so I can say this, but like I lowkey wanna kill myself and I feel so bad for wanting to because I don't have "Trauma" in like that sense, I want to live but its more for my friend then it is for me, cause I feel like if I killed myself they wouldn't actually care to much and just move one. Like my birthday is coming soon and I'm excited but like not as much as every other year, I kinda wanna live till my bday and then jump of the school building. Idk I just want to hug someone with it being me who has to start it or just the same person or like they feel bad/pity towards me. I want to cut but I'm to scared and I hate it, I with I was numb but I also don't want to be. I want to tell my friends but I just can't, I think they kinda know but not to much. I don't think Eli even likes me tbh, I feel if i were to die he would move on first, and just forget me, and it's like scar is prob gonna remember me but I'm only ever going to be "there" never really in there, I like kitkat but again I don't think she's going to think of me or remember me more like a week and then POOF who was I? She doesn't know, uhm Chlorine, yeah I think she will just forget me. I wear a hair tie for "convenient Ness" buts just to slap on my wrist so I feel like I'm sh without doing it. I wanna die but then I'll leave my friends but if I stay they'll all leave me and I don't want that but if I go first I'll just feel selfish and like a little shit, (Eli's gonna be here and ignore what I'm saying and say smt like "Yeah you are a shit") Because all my friends are going to leave me today, tomorrow ,next week, next month, next year, in 10 years. I think the real question I need to know is if I should actually kill myself and how to do it.
Anyways, Eli if you see this, its yours and the others fault❤️
Fish3rmen_Ducky
@HMJMVJ hi, um, i wont leave u. u need someone, im here. if u want.. umm, please dont kill urself, i felt the same way. im here if u need someone.
