HOSHIFY

m moving accts on weekends @ morningchills :) 

HOSHIFY

yall stop following me my board is full of depressed sh-
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HOSHIFY

was planning to close dis acc but,,, not with my 2020 memories here :(
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HOSHIFY

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it feels bad. my wrist feels weak af. my eyes kinda aches. im crying again. losing hope to do things again. feels like shit. until when will i do it over and over again. im starting to think of dark thoughts again.

HOSHIFY

just a little bit more. pls just do it. but i just stopped functioning again.
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HOSHIFY

i just need to survive longer. just a little bit more. but why
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HOSHIFY

my wrist feels cold. it aches but no as bad. its like my wrist is slashed.
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HOSHIFY

why do i have to live wtf its not even my choice to exist

HOSHIFY

ure the live the rest of ur life doing something u dont want and u have no choice but to keep on living wtf
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HOSHIFY

life gotta be so hard and u have to live up to other ppls expectation of u when in the first place, u dont even want to be here wtf 
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HOSHIFY

Are you feeling confused and lost lately, Virgo? You’re not alone! The tides are looking messy for your star sign today. Now is the time for you to focus on yourself, and try not to worry about other people.

HOSHIFY

just little bit. not enough energy to last for few days
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HOSHIFY

it makes me feel better :"D
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HOSHIFY

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i'm just gonna dump this here. i feel like crying again. i don't know, i just feel like crying everytime i think of research. i feel like i have no hopes on continuing it anymore. that im still a disappointment. im still not ok at some point. im so tired of being a leader again. i want them to carry me. i feel so jealous of being with irish and lhei cuz they have good research. annika can do most stuffs without worrying. it was nice for them. it was so smooth sailing. theyre all happy. im not. i have a group to carry. and im carrying it so bad. i want to rest from carrying. i give everything for this group. they say to not stress myself but how???? im the one making shots for this group. i am the one they rely on cuz ik most of the things. but now i totally have no fucking idea and so depress about it, i have to force myself to get better. i want to fucking rest as a leader for petes sake. i just wsnt to rest now.. please i fucking i hate this....

HOSHIFY

i just cant bring myself to move anymore...
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HOSHIFY

i want to be selfish at least once. i want to destroy everything. 
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HOSHIFY

i dont want to be here anymore...
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HOSHIFY

they didnt know im too tired to feel :thumbs up:

HOSHIFY

everytime i thimk of research, i just feel hopeless and i couldnt start to do anything.
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HOSHIFY

i feel like everything ive been doing is just pointless
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HOSHIFY

research just sucked out every motivation in my body
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HOSHIFY

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i hate fucking quarantine. i hate the fucking government for having online class. i hate fkn marcelo for having research. i hate the decision of my parent to make me go through this. i hate myself for not improving. i hate mysf for being so average. i hate myself for being so lazy. i hate myself for being so wasteful. i hate my myself for not choosing a better group.i hate myself for settling less on shit topic. i hate myself.

HOSHIFY

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it feels like shit. i alrdy found myself and what i want to do.  but research i hate it so much. it i want to give up alrdy. i feel so hopeless and tired. i hate it. im still talentless as fk and im abt ti shit research up.