Cooties

Hey!! How've you been doing?? I know, I know. I dropped off the face of the earth practically forever. So much going on. But I've been thinking about you and hoping you're doing okay!

I just finished drugs and Treasons ....and wow
          I didn't expect it at all 
          it is a beautiful book and l had to wait to read because l was writing my final exams...BUT the first thing l did when l got home was read the next chapter either cry with Sarah, laugh with her or try to think what could happen,  never in my life of living did l think that would happen
          (´TωT`) now l am going to look for the next part! 

good story

Hey Coati, I have loved your book ‘Drugs.. and Treasons’, super entertaining and psychological. Thanks for responding to comments, appreciate you taking the time to connect!

I feel like I could be an honorary dentist at this point given the amount of dental procedures and associated complications I've been through.
          
          FUN FACT your teeth have LIGAMENTS and the reason why I was in so much pain wasn't necessarily because my nerves were dangling out my broken teeth (although it did contribute quite a bunch, but it's all over now because endodontists are truly god's angels on earth) but also because I had SPRAINED VIRTUALLY EVERY SINGLE TOOTH STILL HANGING IN MY JAW. That's a thing. My dentist said it. I hope you sleep well tonight knowing there is a non zero chance this may happen to you in the future
          
          I spent a total amount of 36 hours pain free this weekend and that was great. but DID YOU KNOW that after trauma to the bone (such as your dentists using your jawbone as a "fulcrum" which is the support used by a lever (aka a sharp pick stuck deeply into your decapitated tooth) to yank the damn thing out of your silly little gums) you can grow one or more cute little BONE SPICULES which are small shards of skeleeeeeeeetal tissueeee that stick out of your gums and make your life a fucking living hell. My bone was just so mad it said nope I'm outta here and just sprouted random needles which I wish I could pull out with tweezers but my dearly beloved dentist said no this is live tissue still attached to your jawbone try your best not to hack away at it or you might go into SEPSIS. I'm still working on my self control but that meat cleaver on my kitchen counter is looking very sexy right now
          
          on a positive note I am off painkillers (they worsened my asthma and I all but died dragging 42lbs of cat litter from the elevator to my flat) and this lovely mental breakdown is completely independent from the influence of any mind-altering chemicals

Love to see how much you've grown.... I stumbled upond your work again through another acc, because they had your book on their reading list. So, just through I should pop on by and say, congradualtions for all your acheivements

Just a quick update to let you guys know my health is improving little by little! I still can't live without painkillers, but now I can function properly when I take them, which I couldn't a week ago.
          
          Little TMI rant (TW if you hate thinking about teeth and mouths in general) I can't eat properly yet because so many of my dental procedures are still either recent and healing or still pending, but about 25% of my jaw is pain-free now (god bless endodontists) and that was the most damaged, most excruciatingly painful 25%. I can breathe room-temperature air again, woop woop! 
          
          I still need to wait for my pivot teeth to be put in and settle (and for my gums to heal where I underwent a slightly traumatizing extraction for a decapitated molar, but hopefully that'll be faster), but in a few weeks' time I should have at least one functional side of my mouth.
          
          My stitches are out and my scar looks tiiiny compared to two weeks ago. Although the outside looks good (omitting the weird-looking traumatic tattoo from asphalt embedded in my chin) the deep sutures are still pretty annoying and give me little icks whenever I move my face and feel them. 
          
          I know I'm oversharing but I won't ever meet 99.9% of yall so whatever. If you were curious about what's going on with my health here it is
          
          On a great note, I went out with my friends to a restaurant yesterday and had lobster mac and cheese. It was pretty painless and incredibly tasty. It also felt pretty nice to be normal for a while and see somebody else than doctors and dentists. (I told my plastic surgeon, who'd been monitoring my chin pretty regularly over the past 14 days, that while I really like him as a person and as a professional, I never ever want to see him again)

Life's not been easy since I had my accident. I see my (extremely talented) team of dental specialists more than anybody else. 
          
          I've had to take multiple, very very difficult decisions, like picking which teeth to save, which to pull out, which complications I want to risk over other complications. It's also barely just dawning on me that this is going to be a lifelong condition. There are worse ones out there, and weirdly enough the latest season of 90 day fiancé: Before the 90 days is what helps me deal with that fact the most. I also keep remembering this accident was very close to killing me, and that chills me to the fucking bone. I feel terrified but mostly guilty for worrying everyone around me, and I think the mental burden of all this hurts more than the constant, severe pain I'm in.
          
          My jaw is such a mess we've had to delay urgent treatments to make place for more urgent treatments. Breathing hurts because the air is cold and it makes my exposed nerves screech. This is week one of many more. It's going to take a while to get back close to normal.
          
          I'm well taken care of. Financially, emotionally, I even have someone cooking for me. I'm seeing my therapist next week, I'm seeing dentists every single fucking day, my stitches are coming out on Friday. When I don't feel like doing anything else I make lists of things I want to eat once I can eat normally again.
          
          But I'm scared and I'm tired and I'm hurting and I'm wondering what I've done to get this kind of karma. I've had enough life-changing events for a long, long while. It'll quiet down some day but in the meantime, I'm not going to lie, it's fucking hard. 
          
          All this to say DTOD's sequel is probably going to be delayed for a while and I hope you guys understand

Another FUN life update. I had a bad accident on Friday and landed chin first on asphalt. My jaw is now a bloody, road-rashed, stitched-up mess and I fractured not one, not two, but SEVEN teeth. Aside my teeth, no bones are broken so i guess I'm lucky
          
          I'm in a lot of pain but I'm doing my best to keep on eating and drinking. I'm going to need a bunch of procedures including root canals on five or six of my broken teeth which is going to be VERY expensive but means ill be actually able to chew again one day. 
          
          And yes, it feels exactly like those dreams where your teeth crumble and fall out, except it's much much slower and painful

Sometimes I wonder if Sarah Kennedy is writing my life and taking revenge for what I put her through