Eternity_Mp4
Hello! I think you said English wasn’t your first language(sorry if Im mistaken), but I wanted to let you know as a reader that your paragraphs are too long, it can definitely make the reader uninterested in reading it because it looks more like an essay than a creative piece. I suggest you split the them up into shorter sections (also theres a lot of comma splices so maybe proofing more would be best as well) . Also, at the end of your chapters do not explain your intentions, you tell them through story telling, and English language skills. I just wanted to help! I love the story like so far!
Harley1qinn
No,no Thanks , cause it wasn’t I really appreciated your tips and everything, i mean… that was what’s I struggle of haha like you poke the exact spots like I just try to proof some of the sentences I think I write it wrong but as you can see I might be wrong a lots and missed lots of them .
I will definitely try to split them up , I means now I’m just being reckless I’m in a middle of my exam but my mind just tends to drift off from studies and back to this when I really shouldn’t So it’s a bit rough And I do sometimes used tons of (,) this things now that u mentioned it .
Anyway Thanks truly
