I am sorry if you don't like my comment on the first chapter. I was just speaking my mind, I am a story recommender, it's my job to point out the errors. I point them out so you could fix the errors, I make errors of my own, but I go back and do a spelling check.
Tips on how to make your story even better (then people think it is):
1) Do a spelling check, before you publish a new chapter.
2) Use metaphors to describe how a character feels.
3) Don't go over board on big words.
4) Try your best not to be cheesy.
And
5) TASTE THE RAINBOW!!!
