Hazel_BookLover

I lost her, Hazel. 
          I'm sorry I couldn't be there to protect her in time. She actually did it

It's been so long...
          I've traveled Asia, literally. I'm in the Philippines rn, relearning my native language again. 
          I miss you, I miss your smile. But I've moved on. And I know you're probably watching me, probably proud of me for finding happiness again.
          I never truly wanted to stay, but it reminded me of you probably being disappointed in me for leaving. So I stayed. For them. For you. For Jen. Never had I ever felt this loved and cared for since you died. Vex, Star, Kitty, Val, and User are always here for me. And I love them for it. 
          I love you, I always will. But now I love Jen.
          I hope Heaven is treating you well, Hazel. Thank you for giving me a chance to live and be happy 

I'm scared. I know I wanted to be with you in the afterlife but I'm scared
          
          Scared that maybe we won't see each other. Scared that I'm dying in front of people that I love. 
          
          I don't wanna go, maybe not yet. But I'm scared. I've been crying for days. This is how you died. I remember it all. The coughs, the blood, hospital visits. Everything's repeating except it's me who's next. I'm scared, Hazel

I'm sorry. I'm sitting here, crying, crying 'cause I never got to cry for you, crying 'cause I never got to cry for Bleak, crying 'cause I failed, crying 'cause she's gonna be gone, crying 'cause I lied to Vex, crying 'cause it's all falling apart. I wish I could save her, wish I could convince her to stay. I'm so sorry.

I failed

Was it casual when you held my hand as you passed out and the doctors had to physically drag me out of your hospital room

The amount of times I tried committing is like— alot. Can you believe that, love? Me? Committing? Pfft, such a waste. 
          
          Jen and I are happy together. She understands that I can't move on from you yet, she completely understands and comforts me. She's just like you. Always so busy with life. That's what I love about the both of you. 
          
          I love you :>

I feel like an idiot about this. 
          
          I made a song, it was originally for you but I changed some of the lyrics and now it became a song for the people I love. Yeah, I feel like idiot trying to survive a world that just keeps on getting harder and harder

She made it... I hope whoever found her lives an amazing life

I wish I did better.
          She's with you now
          Soaring the skies