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@sejiku alright, here are some more general tips since your writing seems alright thus far
if I notice any issues I will point them out
first is that its a bad idea to start with an idea and try and build the story to reach the idea because that almost always leads to a bad story
you the idea should be the starting platform and the story grows off the idea
if you start with an idea and dont properly set it or the story up you could end up with a situation like with gojo from jujutsu kaisen, gege quickly grew to hate gojo and ended up writing a rather bullshit ending all because gege started with the idea of what he wanted gojo to have and didnt consider the implications those abilities would have on the story
a way he could have handled it much better would involve the inverted spear of heaven
its origins and how it broke is unknown, a very simple solution would be for sukuna to be the one who crafted it and it broke in a fight with kinjaku
this would lead to sukuna being able to create another one to deal with gojo without sukuna surviving things he completely and utterly shouldnt and wouldnt lead to some super bullshit ending
another important thing is forshadowing, the key to proper forshadowing is to make sure you wouldnt be able to tell its forshadowing until AFTER what it forshadows happens
a good examples of this is the jjba openings as when watching you see so many events but never analyze it then the event happens
