Heeheebambiboii

@Heeheebambiboii That's not an opinion that's a fact.

@Heeheebambiboii I WILL 

@jennierubyjane221 bro just watch it 

@Heeheebambiboii I'm considering this as a sign from the universe telling me to go see the damn movie (ToT)

@Heeheebambiboii UGHH i hate like pure gore horror movies I cant handle them 

@Heeheebambiboii Now, on to the things that could use a little more improvement: pacing, again.
            
            But actually, you did improve your pacing a lot compared to the past chapters. You made the plot slow down, which was good, but some scenes could linger a little longer before moving on to the next segment. For example, I probably wouldn't have brought in the penthouse offer just yet. In that scene, you could have let readers see more of Heeseung's inner conflict and emotions before moving forward.
            
            And yes, through the introduction, we did get to see Heeseung's personality. We learned that he is a perfectionist, hardworking, and probably pushing himself too far. But as I said, I wish that lasted longer and explored more of Heeseung's personality.
            
            As for Jay and Jake, they need to have unique personalities too. I'm only mentioning this so you can build interesting and distinct personalities for both side characters in the upcoming chapters. These characters should have their own flair and individuality rather than simply being there to move the scene along.
            
            Even while writing, I suggest thinking about what each character would realistically do in a situation. On this last point, I'm not implying that you're writing them this way right now. It's just a suggestion that I thought might help because I was a little worried the characters could start heading in that direction.
            
            Overall, these are just small suggestions that could make an already improved chapter even stronger.
            
            But remember you did soo much better already. This chapter was 8.5/10 <33

@jennierubyjane221 yayyy im so gladd >< 

@Heeheebambiboii Yep! I just finished reading it.
            
            First of all, I didn't notice any grammar mistakes. If there were any, I didn't catch them.
            
            You changed the introduction like I suggested, which was great. The details about the old wood scent and everything else really helped the readers imagine the atmosphere. The plot wasn't revealed too early, and you're building tension well. You even left a hook at the end, which was great too!
            
            This time, the characters have noticeably more natural flowing conversations and dynamics. You did a really great job and have improved a lot compared to the previous chapters.
            
            These are all the positive things I noticed. You did awesome keep going! <33

@zrevvul 

@Heeheebambiboii IM SAYIFNG

@Heeheebambiboii fs baby fs

@mil_dangz ahm yes please 

@Heeheebambiboii want me to ahm do smth about it?

@Heeheebambiboii yasss ❤️

@mil_dangz they made my 2020 end nicely :P

@Heeheebambiboii NICEE ive been an engene since border carnival era tho i knew them before too