Ray-Ray>_<

Aki if you ever see this you are a lifesaver and don’t know how to tell you but seriously you have helped me so much without knowing it. 
          
          Thank you aki, love you. ^_^

I wish I could just put on my pjs and lay there till I die and rot.

I’m such a pig.

I want irl friends so bad. I love my online friends so much but I need to talk to someone that’s not through a screen. I can’t keep friends tho it’s they 1 drop me in a year or 2 they are terrible people. 
          
          I just want someone I can talk to in person. 

I want to post something but Wattpad will take it down.

I think I’m just going to give up on art. I can’t draw I can’t paint and colour. I don’t know anatomy no matter how hard I try to learn it. My drawings always look shit no matter how much I try. I don’t know what to do anymore, most people irl know me as #### daughter that is good at drawing. So if I give up who am I? I don’t even know who I would be. 
          
          This always happens, example I wanted to be a dancer now I pain problems, I wanted to be an artist and take commissions but I can’t draw, I wanted to be a writer but I can’t spell or write, I wanted to be a hairdresser but i am awful  at cutting hair and I can’t keep a steady hand, I wanted to be an animator I can’t draw or animate anything.
          
          So what or who am I? I’m nothing again without drawing or will I just always be nothing?

There is a friend I have mentioned quite a few times on here and I have now stopped being friends with her.
          
          The problem I am having now is that she is cutting herself again and going deeper with it And her mum is trying to convince me to be her friend again… T-T

MY BODY HAS BETRAYED ME!!! Why is it 2 weeks early… 

I’m getting fat… fuck. 

She also gets mad at me if I don’t respond in 5 minutes even if I have a reason that I couldn’t respond. 
          
          This happened 20 minutes ago. 
          
          Her : I need you to add me on a new account on discord because I’ve been limited on there.
          ( 1 hour ago. )
          
          Me : sorry I didn’t respond : name :  was teaching me Spanish.
          
          Her : can you stop talking about : name : all the time it really annoys me. So stop.
          
          I’ve mentioned her 3 times in the last 2 months.
          
          But she can talk about her friends all the time!?