Ray-Ray>_<

Ive being doing really well lately!! Stuff is finally getting better.

Who am I? Who will I be? Who can I be? 
          
          A Question I’ve been asking myself for years especially in the last year I promise myself I would try and find out but it’s been almost a year and I’m still stuck in the same position forever stuck in this loop of wondering around wondering who I am.
          
          Who will I be? What job will I have? Will the person I grow to be be happy? Or will I be stuck like this forever?

HOW HAVE I PUT ON SO MUCH WEIGHT!??? IVE BEEN KEEPING TRACK OF WHAT I EAT AND HAVE BEEN TRYING TO DO STUFF TO HELP SO WHY HAS IT DONE NOTHING!??? 
          Why do I keep gaining weight when I’ve been doing everything right?  
          I’m genuinely crying what am I doing wrong?
          

I tried making a book thing and it’s not showing up! 

I low-key what to delete everything, TikTok, discord, Roblox, YouTube all social media but I can’t because I can’t just abandon the people I know online.

I hate the fact I posted that 3 minutes ago but can send energetic messages to my friends. Why just why can I not tell people but in the end I know no matter what they say I won’t believe them and even if they try to help me it will never work because you can’t help someone that can’t help themselves.

I’m so stupid, I can’t do anything, you ask me to read a clock I can barely do it you ask me to do anything I can’t do it and don’t say shit like “you can and, your not stupid!” Because people always say that and I know they don’t actually think that, I am stupid I can barely read out loud and struggle in general I’m bad at maths even tho I love it I can’t do it. AND PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY “ oh you’ll get it/there eventually!” NO I WONT I NEVER WILL AND YOU ARE JUST LYING TO ME FACE! I will never get it or understand anything, I can’t do anything no matter how patient you are with me you will give up and that’s why I don’t tell others if I’m struggling because nothing ever helps it doesn’t matter what you do or however you try and help it will never work. I can’t do year 7 maths or English I can’t do most of it because I was never taught it and if I was I probably still wouldn’t be able to because I forget stuff so quickly. What’s the point in trying to get better when I know I will never understand it? 
          
          It’s pointless all of this is pointless.

I put on Weight… fuck, I’m 9,3 now. It doesn’t matter what I do I gain more.

I eat LESS then I am ment to and STILL AM 9 STONE!?!?

Might hate how I look but I love sweets so much and can’t stop eating them.