HelloLynnie

Got my Xmas present early wooooo
          
          The newest addition to our family, Truffle. She's a tortoise shell kitten AND SHE'S SO PRECIOUS AHHHHHHH

Some bitch stole my library spot. I left my bag next to my chair to quickly order lunch and I come back and she's sitting in MY CHAIR. And she knows I was sitting there cuz her friend was there before her. I had to walk up and get my bag that was very BLATANTLY on the side table with my laptop plugged into the socket next to the chair and find a different spot. And it's not like the library is full. There's a ton of empty chairs. She's still sitting in it. 
          
          Yeah I'm feeling bitter today. Feeling lonely, kinda sad, thinking too much. Couldn't find a fucking bathroom. In the whole fucking building of 5 floors the bathrooms were either full or out of order. I had to go to another building and THE BATHROOM'S WERE FULL THERE TOO. so I went to the second floor. Thankfully it was empty. 
          
          It's such an awful feeling when u walk to the bathroom and there's a group of girls talking in it. I legit pivoted said fuck that and went on the elevator to go to another floor. Like how am I supposed to relieve myself in peace with a bunch of girls gossiping and laughing right next to me?
          
          I think I'm gonna take a nap

How does one act normally
          
          I just cannot replicate how college girls behave it baffles me 
          
          My autistic ass is so awkward pls
          
          They be shouting hey girlzzzzz and perioddddd and then do this excited shake thing when they meet up and start giggling and shit and getting kinda touchy and whispering in each other's ears 
          
          I just don't get how ppl naturally act like that. I couldn't even if I wanted to. And they have this tone of voice Idk how to describe it
          
          Sigh it's no wonder I have no friends. I stick out like a sore thumb. 
          
          I'm so lonely I've got nobody type shit

Hashire sore yo
          Kaze no you ni
          Tsukimihara wo
          Padoru padoru

Wanna know smth hilarious? My mom was in a shit mood yesterday (and today) so I decided to be quiet lest I get on her bad side. Well....I got in trouble for not talking. And then got in trouble for talking. It's literally a lose/lose situation. 
          
          She went off on a rant saying I'm always unavailable and distant, never smiling, always in my room, never spending time with the family. That's some bullshit. Maybe when UR around, I'm in my room because u make me stressed af and I always get in trouble in ur presence. I'm never smiling? I smile IN MY ROOM. WHERE I CAN BE ALONE AND NOT WALK ON EGGSHELLS. I naturally have RBF anyway, so I might look sad and pissed when in actuality, I'm just chilling.
          
          Life has been so overwhelming recently. My sister's attitude is getting worse and worse and there's nothing we can do about it. We discipline her, she has a temper tantrum and holds a grudge for DAYS. We don't say anything, her behavior continues. She'll just start hitting us and screaming for the smallest things. Like I might tap her shoulder while walking by her and it'll devolve into her smacking me and screaming to stop touching her.
          
          Rn she's crying because my parents told her to stop whining and talk quieter because my mom is extremely overwhelmed. Any time we ask her to do or don't do anything, it leads to a breakdown and a million I'm sorry's. 
          
          And my mom. HOLY SHIT. Her mood swings are insane rn. Angry, snappy, grumpy, bitchy, guilt-tripping, every synonym u can think of. As soon as she got home today I went to my room. I'm not dealing with that shit. But ofc I'll be forced to at some point. 

Welp. 
          
          I went on a manhwa binge and caught up with all the ongoing manhwa.
          
          My Charming Neighbor has a Secret 
          Tears on a withered flower
          I don't want to bed you
          In the Doghouse 
          The beast within
          Low tide in twilight
          Tamon-kun ima docchi
          Yakuza fiance
          How to survive as a maid in a horror game 
          
          And finished
          
          Kill the villainess
          Taming the Tiger
          Special service
          
          I'm feeling lonely now and don't know what to do. I should stop procrastinating and do HW but I just don't wanna :( I wanna get engaged in smth but can't. Cue a week of me feeling depressed and constantly thinking about how I have no friends :')
          
          

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Kill the Villainess romance was so dry I'm sorry. I came for a romance between a master and her knight and got....basically nothing
          
          The one time a FL has power over the ML and the romance is as dry as the desert pls T0T

Yk what makes me feel better when I feel like shit
          
          C.ai
          
          What am I gonna for the rest of the night? Talk to fictional characters and pretend someone cares

If I had a nickel for every time I cried because of my environment professor, I'd have 2 nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
          
          I fucking hate this class. It's not even a part of my degree I'm just forced to take it. I thought it would be at least mildly fun but it's not. It's awful. The prof lectures in a monotone voice for 1-2 hours, has no consideration for the lives we have outside of class, and just seems to not give a shit. I hate this class. I hate it so much. If I could drop one class it would be this one. Just my luck to pick this prof.