Nathan Naimark

I'm just sitting at the table, eating dinner, and I look over at the tv to see what my dad is watching, and I see an ad for a mobile game at like 480p and 20, maybe 25fps, and I just start dying laughing

We need to make a wattpad inactive tax, so people stay active and not ghost and stop existing

In world history I'm a communism picture book (yes, this is a real thing) and one of the past examples was family guy, I might post the pictures eventually, its just way too good

Something that my brain has only started to process is that, I have a friend who's a girl, and I'm able to take to her just fine, yet with my crush, I'm nowhere near that, why the heck is talking so complicated, why can't I just adopt the same mindset, or forget the fact that my relations with them are entirely different, and just be able to talk to her like a normal human, without getting nervous, stopping to pause, not mentioning things I like, being scared to talk about of embarrassment, and stop talking after I say something I thought she would find funny, but didn't? Man, why the hell is it hard to talk to women sometimes?

Ah, I get that reference, I too use words

So I had long hair, sorta, not really, and I got it cut, a lot shorter on my bangs than I wanted, and now I keep trying to pull them down out of habit. (I should've just waited for it to grow out more)

Its completely normal to get a partially green McDonald's French fry, right?

So uh... Apparently I have a hemorrhoid...
          
          So that's fun-

Doom eternal has so much testosterone leaking from its orifices that it caused me to create a son via mitosis

You can't just shoot a hole into the surface of Mar-