Hexed-By-Hermes
I'm nervous because I have SATS today and I want to do well.
For those who don't know:
The SAT is basically an exam students in the United States take before applying to college.
If you’re not from the U.S., think of it like a national standardized test that helps universities compare students from different schools and backgrounds.
Here’s a simple way to understand it:
It tests reading, writing, and math skills
Everyone takes the same test, no matter where they’re from in the country
You get a score (400–1600) based on how well you do
Colleges may use that score to help decide if they accept you
Since schools in the U.S. can be very different (grading systems, difficulty, etc.), this test gives colleges a common measurement to evaluate students more fairly.
Some countries have similar things, like:
National exit exams
University entrance exams
Standardized academic tests
And just like those, it can feel very important—but it’s usually only one part of the application, along with grades, essays, and activities.
I'm so nervous wish me luck!
Hexed-By-Hermes
But it feels like more.
It feels like something that decides things—
like doors opening or closing
before I even get to see what’s behind them.
I wish I could believe
that I’ll be okay no matter what.
I really do.
But right now,
all I can hear is my heartbeat,
all I can feel is the pressure,
and all I can think is—
what if I’m not enough?
But even with all of that—
all the noise, all the fear, all the doubt—
I know I’m still going to show up.
Even if my hands shake.
Even if my thoughts are loud.
Even if I’m terrified the whole time.
I’m still going to sit down,
pick up the pencil,
and try.
Because right now,
trying feels like the only way
to prove to myself
that I didn’t let the fear win.
Hexed-By-Hermes
Here's a poem too
I can’t turn it off.
Everyone says “relax,”
like there’s a switch somewhere in my chest
I forgot to flip—
but my heart keeps going, fast, uneven,
like it’s trying to outrun something
I can’t even see.
Tomorrow feels too close.
Too real.
Like it’s already started
and I’m already behind.
I keep replaying everything—
every practice test, every mistake,
every question I got wrong
that I *should’ve known*.
They don’t fade, they stack,
one on top of another
until it feels like I’m buried under them.
What if that’s all tomorrow is?
Proof that I’m not as smart as people think I am.
Proof that all those “you’re doing great”s
were just… people being nice.
I hate that thought.
But it keeps coming back.
My hands won’t stop shaking—
not a lot, just enough
that I notice it every time I try to be still.
My stomach feels hollow and heavy
at the same time,
like I forgot to eat
but couldn’t if I tried.
I keep checking the time.
Again.
And again.
Like maybe it’ll glitch,
skip a few hours,
give me more space to breathe.
It doesn’t.
I try to imagine sitting there—
the paper in front of me,
the silence,
the sound of pencils moving
like everyone else knows exactly what they’re doing.
And me?
What if I don’t?
What if I read the first question
and my mind just… freezes?
Like everything I studied
just slips through my fingers
all at once.
I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared
of something that isn’t even happening yet.
And the worst part is
I know it shouldn’t matter *this* much.
It’s one test.
One morning.
One score.
