Sk8 withdrawl

I'm alive by the way

Look I got messages so here's a PSA
          
          IF YOU WANT TO REACH ME USE MY TUMBLR: https://at.tumblr.com/heyitsnyixie/v00zqj6zoluu

holy shit - how are you ?? it's joanna from middleschool

HI OMG HOW ARE U ITS MAYA FROM MIDDLE SKL HELLO.

Hey~ back again. 
          So anyway today my friend and I had a conversation that was ended in,
          Me: "Tiddies?"
          My friend: "Tiddies."
          Us: "Tiddies!" *Handshake*

I understand that I'm always going to vocal stim despite not having any of the conditions that would lead me to do so means I'm just a weirdo that compulsively says things. But WHY does it have to be the "bRo YoU lOoK aMaZiNg" from Lifetime Achievement award by Lemon Demon!?!

I don't fucking get it. Why would I worship a got who 'made me like this for a reason?' My own father doesn't respect my identity and when I finally snapped and yelled at him about it he only cared that I disrespected HIM. I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM I HATE HIM. I wanna drop off the face of the earth and see if he really meant that bullshit about "loving me". And my mom wants me to forgive him for "my sake!?!" 'YEAH HE MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE AN INVALID PIECE OF SHIT EVERY DAY AND IT MADE YOU CONTEMPLATE SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM BUT YOU SHOULD FORGIVE HIM!' I wanna stop existing for a little, or at least pretend like I did

I don't commit piracy, that's my least favorite thing to do, but if I did I would only share the sites I used in irl conversation or private chats so the site doesn't get taken down. But I DEFINITELY DON'T COMMIT PIRACY that's just what I'd do if I did.

Damn I just had a really fuckin depressing dream an now I'm kinda sad

I got transitional lenses so at least SOMETHING on my body can transition. *Home by cavetown plays* *muffled sobbing*