Hisokasnewtoy

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Warning this is an emotional rant. 
          	
          	
          	
          	My fatass keeps having an identity crisis on whether I'm Bisexual or Pansexual. I feel so fucking stupid, because I know at the end of the day it's really just what I feel most comfortable with and I don't have to put a label on it but I want one. I want one so bad so that when someone's like "what's your sexuality? " I'm not just sitting there explaining myself to them. I once told someone on Omegle I was pansexual, and they kept saying "so basically Bisexual? " It kinda pissed me off. After a while he just gave up like. "Okay, okay let's change the subject. "
          	 It made me mad even so, I recently found out that bisexual's can like all genders as well. What the fuck do I do? Just when I thought I had my shit together I walk straight into a wall dropping it every where again. I don't wanna have to fit into society's rules, but I don't wanna fit into mine either. I know I was just a kid, but I was forced to grow up to adjust to my living conditions, so therefore I was solely convinced that I was straight for a while. No matter what I do there's that little kid in me that never got to properly grow up that goes. "What if we are really straight? I mean girls are very attractive, but what if that's just us saying it?" And I don't know how to prove myself wrong because I've never had a proper crush.

JustCallMeLost

@Hisokasnewtoy 
          	   
          	  as someone with bpd i can say that i've experiences my fair share of identity crises and although i'm extremely lucky to be certain with my orientation label , ever other of my personality and being are constantly shifting 
          	  
          	  what i tell myself in these moments is that it doesn't really matter how well i know myself now , i can figure that out later 
          	  however if it starts bothering me to the point where it becomes arduous to move on , asking others greatly helps 
          	  if , for example , i can't seem to figure out if i'm more extroverted or introverted because yes i have an easy time connecting with stranger etc. but it still feels horrible to be with ppl , asking my surrounding what they think will calm that urge to find my answers ( until a new issues pops up lol ) 
          	  
          	  for label crises , i'd really advice you to ask yourself two questions ; 'if i want a fix label , why do i desire one ?' and 'what difference does it make to me ? owing a label , will it make me more comfortable' etc. 
          	  
          	  hope this helped and if you wanna talk more , account is a safe space as well as my pms c;
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Hisokasnewtoy

@OptionalAnnette Thank you, I wasn't feeling so good at the time and honestly didn't expect to get a reply or else I wouldn't of posted it. The little kid in me usually stays quiet hiding from reality and only coming out when I'm super happy so I'd rather acknowledge them instead of ignoring them, because then I'd be ignoring my problems instead of coming to terms with them. I don't think reading things like that will help me either because it'd probably make me criticize the quote and feel even worse. I'm feeling much better now however, so thanks for your concern. Also it was some dude on Omegle who said that
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OptionalAnnette

this message may be offensive 
@Hisokasnewtoy 
          	  Okay, first of all, fuck whoever told you that!
          	  You can be who you want to be, ignore that little kid in you and live your own life! You can be your own protagonist, what's wrong with that? So what if you're unnoticed? Whoever did you wrong should pray that they aren't getting their karma.
          	  
          	  Take care of yourself, even the tiniest bit of good will help you along the way! Maybe try some books with inspirational quotes or do something that you enjoy! Nobody will stop you, that's your life you're living.
          	  
          	  Remember this. we were all born to be real, not to be perfect.
• Reply

Hisokasnewtoy

this message may be offensive 
Warning this is an emotional rant. 
          
          
          
          My fatass keeps having an identity crisis on whether I'm Bisexual or Pansexual. I feel so fucking stupid, because I know at the end of the day it's really just what I feel most comfortable with and I don't have to put a label on it but I want one. I want one so bad so that when someone's like "what's your sexuality? " I'm not just sitting there explaining myself to them. I once told someone on Omegle I was pansexual, and they kept saying "so basically Bisexual? " It kinda pissed me off. After a while he just gave up like. "Okay, okay let's change the subject. "
           It made me mad even so, I recently found out that bisexual's can like all genders as well. What the fuck do I do? Just when I thought I had my shit together I walk straight into a wall dropping it every where again. I don't wanna have to fit into society's rules, but I don't wanna fit into mine either. I know I was just a kid, but I was forced to grow up to adjust to my living conditions, so therefore I was solely convinced that I was straight for a while. No matter what I do there's that little kid in me that never got to properly grow up that goes. "What if we are really straight? I mean girls are very attractive, but what if that's just us saying it?" And I don't know how to prove myself wrong because I've never had a proper crush.

JustCallMeLost

@Hisokasnewtoy 
             
            as someone with bpd i can say that i've experiences my fair share of identity crises and although i'm extremely lucky to be certain with my orientation label , ever other of my personality and being are constantly shifting 
            
            what i tell myself in these moments is that it doesn't really matter how well i know myself now , i can figure that out later 
            however if it starts bothering me to the point where it becomes arduous to move on , asking others greatly helps 
            if , for example , i can't seem to figure out if i'm more extroverted or introverted because yes i have an easy time connecting with stranger etc. but it still feels horrible to be with ppl , asking my surrounding what they think will calm that urge to find my answers ( until a new issues pops up lol ) 
            
            for label crises , i'd really advice you to ask yourself two questions ; 'if i want a fix label , why do i desire one ?' and 'what difference does it make to me ? owing a label , will it make me more comfortable' etc. 
            
            hope this helped and if you wanna talk more , account is a safe space as well as my pms c;
• Reply

Hisokasnewtoy

@OptionalAnnette Thank you, I wasn't feeling so good at the time and honestly didn't expect to get a reply or else I wouldn't of posted it. The little kid in me usually stays quiet hiding from reality and only coming out when I'm super happy so I'd rather acknowledge them instead of ignoring them, because then I'd be ignoring my problems instead of coming to terms with them. I don't think reading things like that will help me either because it'd probably make me criticize the quote and feel even worse. I'm feeling much better now however, so thanks for your concern. Also it was some dude on Omegle who said that
• Reply

OptionalAnnette

this message may be offensive 
@Hisokasnewtoy 
            Okay, first of all, fuck whoever told you that!
            You can be who you want to be, ignore that little kid in you and live your own life! You can be your own protagonist, what's wrong with that? So what if you're unnoticed? Whoever did you wrong should pray that they aren't getting their karma.
            
            Take care of yourself, even the tiniest bit of good will help you along the way! Maybe try some books with inspirational quotes or do something that you enjoy! Nobody will stop you, that's your life you're living.
            
            Remember this. we were all born to be real, not to be perfect.
• Reply

Hisokasnewtoy

this message may be offensive 
Hello, it's 1:35 am here and I'm wheezing at something stupid that I'm gonna hate myself for in the morning or maybe I won't. 
          
          So I was trying to calm myself down because I was laughing at something else that wasn't even funny im just stupid  here's how it went: 
          
          Me: Okay, calm down, You have 10 fingers, 10 toes. *stops and thinks of something else* 
           
          *laughs* okay okay
          
          *holds up closed hand*  you have 1 tounge *puts up a finger* 2 eyes *puts up two fingers* Uhmmm... *thinks* 
          
          I don't have three of anything...*sits up* Do I? Do I...? *thinks for a moment* 
          
          Moment: *shrugs* well, I have three holes- 
          
          *immediately starts laughing hysterically* NO- wait, well like fuckable holes that is- THAT'S NOT ANY BETTER! 
          
          *Dies laughing for 5 minutes straight before deciding it's better to put this on here for tomorrow when I'm in good senses* 
          
          Hey future me ;) you look like shit ♡

Arixbakugo27

@Hisokasnewtoy 
            I love the fact u had a whole convo with your self 
            
            And I love ur at because all my friends get made at me for simping or hisoka like let me live please
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Hisokasnewtoy

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@Hisokasnewtoy well shit, I didn't know my manager would be reading this. Those dumbasses don't know when to shut the fuck up.
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Hisokasnewtoy

this message may be offensive 
@Hisokasnewtoy I just want to let you both know we didn't go to bed until 9:30 and mom woke us up at 10. Oh right! Before I forget, I hate you both. Also, we look as Pansexual as we ever will after waking up so fuck off ❤
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Hisokasnewtoy

Let me tell you now, if you EVER say "well, if I were you-" Prepare to get a lecture. 
          
          
          Because, if you were me, you would have the exact same thought process. You'd know why i would have the decision, and therfore made the EXACT same decision! Nothing would change at all. 
          
          That all for Today's episode of "Random Rants "

Hisokasnewtoy

@Hisokasnewtoy this also makes me a hypocrite.
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