Bel

My whole life is going to change in like 2 weeks. Soon, everything will be different, and 13 years of my life will go down the drain. Heres to praying I get the final score I need to get into my top uni preference

Y’know, I thought I was good, that I was pushing through everything ok. I thought that rumours being spread, being called names, being in the middle of the busiest time of my school life ever, and being under the pump about having to do good, was something I was pushing past and still being able to thrive with, but I guess not.
          
          I hit a wall not even ten minutes ago. And everything just came crashing down. It wasn’t even anything big that just caused it to crash, all that happened was mum asked me to do the dishes because the dishwasher is broken. Then next thing I know, I’m on the verge of tears and feel like the whole world is crushing me.
          
          Too many things have happened in the span of two weeks, and my body is so stressed and overworked. I need a fucking break… or a knife

Being home alone is weird. Like, what do you mean I have to do everything myself? What do you mean I’m alone at home because my parents are on holidays and my brother is in another state? What do you mean I actually have to look after myself?

I got a letter from a teacher who’s close to me, and reading it made me burst into tears

Well tonight was fun…
          
          I learnt that someone at school, who I hate and find uncomfortable to be around, has been telling people that I’m his “special person” and that we’re dating…
          
          I know he has a crush on me, and I’ve rejected him multiple times, even had to block him on everything because of how he’s been, but apparently he doesn’t get the message. He even showed one of my friends a photo and him and I together… the photo was from a school function, and he cropped it to look like it was just the two of us. 
          
          The next ten days are going to be sooo fun.

When you’re at something you’ve been looking forward to for ages, but then have to leave halfway because your body decided it hates you

I love how it’s past 1am, and I’m still wide awake

Oh isn’t it fun when you get home after a long and tiring day, only to get yelled at and blamed for about something that happened during a test at school, and bought to tears about it because you already feel shitty about the score you got, but oh no, we must make you feel worse and make you feel like everything is all your fault when it was a teachers mistake that forced you to have to move mid-test. And oh no, how could you focus on English instead of outdoor Ed, and how could you not have the practise tests for sport, even though you got them today from the teacher because she said she’d give them out a week before the test.

I always wished people understood the word no.

I’m a student who always masks if something goes wrong, who doesn’t let the teachers know if I’m not ok. But today, I finally let down my walls and spoke to a teacher about what was happening between me and someone at school. 
          
          It’s like a pressure has been taking off me now that a teacher knows what’s going on, and is helping me out with it.
          
          Mr Charles not only is helping me, he also made me realise that the whole thing is why I’m so stressed out and scared at school